Amazed by Grace

22 Years of Reflection...

2009-10-31T01:29:00.000-07:00

I turned 22 yesterday and I was hoping someone might be able to answer some of my questions.

For example, I spend nearly everyday of my life alone so why do you make a big deal about it on my birthday? Why is this the day you care?

If we have not talked in over year, probably since my last birthday when you posted happy birthday on my wall, why thy sudden interest in my life?

I guess my real question is this, are you really my friend?

The English language is vague in the way we use words. I am friends with Ande Thomas, whom I consider my best friend and I am friends with people on facebook whom I am not sure I have ten minute conversation before.

In Greek and Latin and almost every other language, the word friend is much more descriptive. The words they used for friend is best translated to lover.

I guess the real question is do you love me because I do not think you do and if you do, you suck at showing it.

Happy Birthday...

Ode to Old Mellon...

2009-10-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

I was there.

The Guins were down 3-0 in the series against the Flyers and everyone in the old Civic Arena knew what was riding on this game. If we did not win this game the season would be over and our dreams of drinking once again from “Lord Stanley’s Fabled Cup” would be prolonged until next season. Not only had this hung in the balance but two of our biggest stars, Mario Lemieux and Joey Mullen’s career where all but over, everyone knew of their impending retirement, everybody but me.

I was 11 and I loved hockey. I remember those good old days of Pittsburgh Hockey before it was such a “fad.” The stands where filled with true fans of hockey, not the corporate business type trying to woo their customers but big guys in overalls and mullets. My grandfather had taken me to the game and our seats where on the Penguins side, above the goal. We got their early because I loved to watch the warm-ups. I felt like a scout as I watched Philadelphia take their practice shots against their goalie, Garth Snow. Leaning over to my Pap I said, “He is letting up some easy ones.” I remember feeling confident that Penguins would easily defeat the Flyers and I was right, we won the game 4-1.

Details of the game are blurry. I do not remember who scored what goals, who hit who and even who the three stars where (besides Mario). The thing I remember the most was the last minute of that game. The Flyers where trying desperately to put another one on the board. They dumped the puck into our zone and gained possession and started cycling the puck to one another. Mario deflected a pass that found its way onto Ian Moran’s stick. Moran fired a pass to the blue line where he found Mario Lemieux on the break away. By the time Mario entered the Flyers territory he was a full stick lengths away from any defender, he glided from left to right. Standing on my seat to see past the sea heads of all the other fans that were standing on their feet, I saw Mario fire one over the glove hand side of Garth Snow. The puck hit the twine, the lamp lit and old Civic Arena erupted with cheer.

After the goal my Grandfather had seen enough and we started to exit early from the game (against my protest). I remember hearing the announcer announce the three stars as we reached my grandfathers Ford Expedition and number 66 was announced as number one. As we left Civic Arena’s parking lot, I remember the noise the most; Cars honking, air horns blasting and the most dominant noise of all; “MARIO MARIO MARIO!!!” The noise did not cease until we were well out of the Squirrel Hill Tunnels. My pap turned down the post game on the radio and said to me, “Zachary, remember this night as long as you live.”
We all know how this story ends. The Pens would lose the next game in Philly and Lemieux retired.

Recently I have moved to Philadelphia to attend Eastern University and when people ask me about what they view as a strange obsession with hockey and my beloved Penguins, I tell them this story. I tell them about how Mario saved us, not once, not twice but three times. I tell them of the days of the Student Rush line and how Georges Laraque handed me a pizza. The old Igloo will be missed but let’s hope the Consol Energy Center will be the site of many more good memories.

Changing...

2009-07-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

I am not the same person I was a year ago.

I am not the same person I was 6 months ago.

I am not the same person I was a month ago.

I am not the same person I was a week ago.

I am not the same person I was yesterday.

I just changed again...

I used to say I was so messed up before I met Christ but right now I am messed up. Not in the same way, not in a bitter and depressed drug induced way. I am not in a suicidal trance, floating through life but something is not right.

Christ is messing me up. I re-read the gospels and it troubles me, frightens me and excites me. It makes me wonder...

"Can I do it?"

"Why do we war for peace?"

"What am I getting myself into?"

"If 33% of the world are Christians, why are their still hungry and homeless people?"

"Am I the only one who believes that Jesus meant what he said?"

Am I alone? Do you really believe what he said, what he called you to do?

Go!

Finding my Calcutta...

2009-05-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

"Calcutta is everywhere, you just got look for it." Mother Teresa

Many of you know that I just got hired at Oakland United Methodist Church in Johnstown, Pa to be the youth pastor for the summer. Also you probably know that I have looking for my own "Calcutta" to serve in and well I think I found it.

Johnstown...

34.5% of families that have children under 18 are in Poverty

43.9% of families that have children under 5 are in Poverty

60.3% of single mother families that have children under 18 are in Poverty

71.3% of single mother families that have children under 5 are in Poverty

20.9% of individuals over 18 are in Poverty

12.6% of individuals over 60 are in Poverty

37.5% of individuals under 18 are in Poverty

Needless to say one of my first sermons will be on Matt 25:41-43. Wish me luck, I am out to change the world!

Unordinary...

2009-04-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

God said to Moses, "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' "

What amazes me about God is his unrelentless interest in us. His love is so powerful, so amazing, so crazy for us. It does not make sense for God, who has no problems, to concern himself with us. We are broken people, with real problems but God wants to know us. What is more amazing God identifies himself through us.

Early in the passage God introduces himself as "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." He could of very well said, I am God the most powerful, creator of all things now worship me but he did not. Instead he identified himself with his people, the broken and flawed and then invited Moses to take off his sandals, in an act of worship, if he wanted to come any closer, if wanted to experience God more.

Again, God is not your ordinary immortal entity of this time. When Moses wanted to know God's name God replied, "I am who I am." A lot smarter people than I want to make this out as a divine title for God but I think God was so caught up in the moment, he did not care what Moses called him.

Look "I am who I am" but Moses I have seen my people suffering and it "concerns me".

Our suffering concerns God. Again God could have went on a tangent exclaiming Holy names for himself but rather he just said "I am who I am." I am is a God who is more concerned with knowing us than us knowing him. I am not saying God does not want us worship or it is not necessary for us to believe in him to go Heaven. Rather I am saying God wants to know us so intimately that he does not need some huge elaborate introduction. He is content to reveal himself in humble ways, like being born in a manger.

I am still the man...

2009-04-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes. "Go," he told him, "wash in the Pool of Siloam" (this word means Sent). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, "Isn't this the same man who used to sit and beg?" Some claimed that he was.

Others said, "No, he only looks like him."

But he himself insisted, "I am the man." (John 9:9)

This passage of the bible is one of my favorites, for many reasons. For one, Jesus explains why God makes us disabled, so the glory of God may be shown through us. You may be thinking that their is nothing glorifying about being mentally challenged or blind or being in a wheel chair but tell that to Aaron Fotheringham (check out this video of him) and do not be deceived by my word choice of disabled. We all have a disability, whether it be a physical or mental, we all have one.

Another reason why I love this story is because Jesus healed this man. There is something about passages of scripture where Jesus heals that get to me. Maybe it is this hoping inside me that one day I can believe so fully that my deepest scares will be erased by grace or maybe it is the way Jesus heals, it is always hands on. He never snaps his fingers or writes out a script (then tells you take all the pills even if you feel better), but rather he touches those he heals. This account is just funny and where one my friend's believes the phrase "oh Jesus" originated.

The last reason why I like this passage, is the way people are in disbelief about what Jesus just did. How they believed that the man was not who he said he was, that he could not be himself because he was so changed. I have experienced that and I still do to this day. When I came to Christ I changed (still am changing) and people did not believe it, they still do not.

It has been three years since I have smoked that "sweet leaf" (April 22nd 2006) and I still get phone calls asking if I want to smoke. It is an awkward conversation when I explain that I choose Christ's love over any type of inebriation these days.

"But you put the HIGH in high school?!?!"

"Not anymore. I grew up and found something better, something fulfilling."

Day by day Christ is workingim me to heal me. I still have problems and plenty of them but I am still the man who Christ healed so many years ago.

I know...

2009-04-07T23:08:00.001-07:00

In life we are forced to deal with situations that we cannot see coming. Like stepping out into the street in front of oncoming bus, life hits us hard when we least expect it. We are left with a self doubt that can be so crippling; it seems we will never “live” again.

What if?

The question haunts us night and day, besieging our dreams and turning them into nightmares.

Things could have been different!

Our minds race to possible outcomes that would make things different and through our narrow scope, perfect.

This is all my fault.

In the video above you see Dr. Cox deals with losing three of his patients, which he feels responsible for their deaths. After losing the third he cannot take it and walks out of the hospitable. Then JD reminds of his own words by saying, “The second you start blaming yourself for people’s deaths, there is no coming back.”

“You’re right.”

How do you think Dr. Cox knew this piece of advice he told his friend?

Dr. Cox is misunderstood character, most of the time, on the TV show scrubs. He seems to be the “hard ass” that hates his job and does not care about anybody but himself. Perry seems to be a complete narcissist, who in his own world cannot make a mistake. Yet when he does, he takes full blame. His mistake haunts him to the point where he cannot function. This is not a defining moment in Dr. Cox’s life. No, he has been blaming himself for a long, long time.

It is so dangerous to blame ourselves for things that are unavoidable. Things could be different but do we really want them to be?

When my mom passed away I blamed myself. It sounds stupid because she died of cancer but I found away to blame myself. It probably does not help that several unnamed people also put this notion into my head.

“You are running your mother ragged, this is not helping her. You are killing her.”

Nonetheless my mom died but what came out of it was the single greatest thing in my life. I came to accept Christ and there is nothing that is not worth losing to know Him.

My biggest beef with Jesus...

2009-04-04T21:58:00.000-07:00

Today I realized that I have a huge problem with Jesus. My problem has nothing to do with his character. My problem has nothing to do with his teachings. My problem has nothing to do with Jesus the man but what he wants from me.

Personally, I like to solve problems. I surround myself with people who are hurting because I need to help them. The thought of someone being in emotional pain kills me. If I could, I would bare the pain of the world if it could stop the pain (Jesus beat me to the punch on this one). I love being needed.

My fondest memories with past girlfriends have been the times when I was able to be there for them. Times when they would run to me and just lay in my arms because they had a bad day. Times when they needed a shoulder to cry on. Times when they needed me to be strong because they felt weak. Not the first long kiss or when we first used the "l-word" (although those rank up there too).

This is me.

The one who would rather help than be helped.

Then there is Jesus.

The one who can only help and needs nothing from no one.

Plain and simply, Jesus does not need me. He has a plan for me and my life but if I choose not to follow him, he is not going to beg me to change my mind. Most certainly He will yearn for the day that I turn back to him but He is not going to run after me. Jesus will let me make up my own mind.

There is nothing I can do for Jesus that he cannot do for himself. Jesus will never come to me and ask for advise. Jesus will never want to talk about his bad day. Jesus will never need me. To make matters worse, everything I love to be for other people, Jesus wants to do for me.

This role reversal thing is so hard for me. I have few close friends and with the few close friends I have I am still guarded with. It is hard for me to let people help me. It is hard for me to let Jesus help me. I usually wind up being a wreck of depression and addiction before I let anyone in my life.

I do not want that this time.

I just want Jesus.

Sometimes I hate when Jesus comes through...

2009-03-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate when Jesus comes through for me. Lately I have had a lot of prayers answered for me and as great as that is, it also is stressing me out. Just look at he has done for me lately.

In my persuasion and propaganda class I am leading a huge food drive that will be capped off with a week of awareness. I personally believe if we just ask for cans of food without spreading awareness of poverty we are not doing the job right. Now I have to over see everything before anything can be done. I have to book speakers, okay events, go to countless meetings with WCCC officials, come up with ideas and so much more. On top of this I have to give several speeches throughout or week of awareness, none of which am I ready for.
I have been excepted into four great schools. I just have to pick one but I do not know which one. I am almost certain that I should go to Eastern but I have a lot of biased towards it.
Army of Cranes is officially a Christian band. We are not trying the whole Christians in a band thing, we want to work for the Kingdom. We also have been getting a lot of gigs lately (probably because we are giving all to him), so that is the added stress. Practice dates and writing time is becoming so precious because none of us have any time as it is.
This is a tough one to talk about. I love you guys at Charter Oak UMC but I have been praying to have an opportunity to serve in other ministries in the area. I have had three opportunities as of late. One was to be a Chaplain of camp, which paid more money than I have ever seen in my life. I declined that offer because of prior obligations to my band. Pastor Chris has recommended me (as well as Amber Biddle) to his friend in Johnstown who is looking for a youth minister. Most recently I have been asked to help start a youth ministry in Latrobe.
In addition to all that I am dirt poor and I need to get another job.

Even though Jesus is answer my prayers, I am stressed beyond belief. I just need to find what is in his will and we will see.

Let me tell you about my friend Patrick...

2009-03-15T18:44:00.000-07:00

This Tuesday is Saint Patrick's Day, the day that is usually celebrated with getting drunk and then peeing in the street. As much as I love being intoxicated and being nude in public, I cannot help but think there is more to this day. So I did I little research and I found out that Patty was a pretty rad dude.

At the age of sixteen Patrick was your average Britt. I am sure he enjoyed all the customs of those early Germanic tribes, although his life was about to change. He was kidnapped by Irish militants and taken back to Ireland as a slave. After six years of being a slave he managed to escape and return to his family and then became a missionary.

This is where the story gets weird. Of all the places he could of picked to go as a missionary, he picked Ireland, the very place he was held captive for six years. Talk about loving your enemies!

Saint Patrick was not Irish but British. If you know anything about the Brit's and the Irish you know they do not get along. Throughout their history Ireland and Brittan have been at war. I would imagine if you where a British missionary, Ireland would be the last place you want to go but Patrick (who had all the reason to hate the Irish) choose to go there.

So how can we celebrate Saint Patrick's Day that would make Saint Patty happy. Let your hate die and serve those who are least in your mind. Humble yourself as Patrick did, as Jesus did.

Stranger...

2009-02-11T20:06:00.000-08:00

Have you ever met a complete stranger who has such in site into your life that it is shocking. It just makes you wonder how someone could know your hopes, dreams or fears if they have no prior knowledge of you.

In John chapter four, Jesus encounters a woman whom has never met Jesus. After a lengthy discussion about water (go there yourself, read your BIBLE!) Jesus gives her an account of her life. The women, over joyed by meeting someone who sees past her past, runs and tells everyone about her new friend. In this process Jesus heals her from the most common disease that plagues the human race.

Loneliness...

Rejection...

Depression...

The other day I met a man most of you probably met as well. Another ordinary radical from a far off land. His name was Kumar. Kumar is a pastor in the underground church in India and has come to Pittsburgh to get a degree in divinity. I had the honor of talking with him and what he said shocked me.

One of the first questions he asked me was "if I had many friends?"

It caught me off guard because that is not a normal question people ask. I kinda of shrugged it off and answered by making a joke, something I always do to change the subject. He let it go and we continued talking but it has been bothering me since.

Could Jesus have intervened in that conversation?

I struggle with loneliness. I know I do not have many good friends and I refuse to open up with people. When it comes to it if you ask me if I am okay I will lie to your face, crack a joke and say I am tired.

I cannot continue to do this anymore. I need to be more vulnerable with you guys.

Fire and brimstone...

2009-01-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

In my persuasion and propaganda class, my instructor likes to show us how different organizations use persuasion tactics to sell their product. Today he started talking about how the church used fear as one of their tactics to "sell Jesus."

"If you voted for Obama or you will go to hell."

"If you eat meat on Friday's you will be subject to God's wrath."

"If you support homosexuals, then you are evil."

The worst part of these statements are the fact that they are not ambiguous. These statements are not his own but rather statements from other church officials. The author of these statements meant what they said and that is that.

My professor went on to say the Protestant church (he had been picking on the Catholics for awhile to this point and noticed that some students where getting uneasy) had ruled with "fire and brimstone."

Where is the love?

Have we fallen so far from his Grace that people cannot see the counterfeits of our faith?

As I have mentioned before this class takes on a project that is supposed to persuade our school to do something. Right now some of my class mates are throwing out ideas but I am sitting still, waiting for my turn. One idea was to start a "reading movement" across our campus but I think we can do something bigger. As noble of a cause that is, I think we can do something bigger.

Everyone on our campus can read, that is why we go to college but nearly a billion people world wide entered the 21st century not able to read. Poverty is at its highest and we expire to get people to read a book? People are dying in our own backyards but the best my class can offer is to help those who are not in need? Do we not have the decency to think of those who truly need our help or will we smother those same needy people with our greed as our forefathers did?

I think not and I promise you that before this semester is over my class will see fire! No, not the flaming glow of hell but the flaming chariots of God! I will present my Savior to them in all his glory. They will see why I believe in who I believe and hopeful they will pick up their cross and follow Him, not me.

I am truly excited to be able to share my faith in action, rather than word!

I tell you the truth...

2009-01-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

I decided to re-read the gospels today. You know I just applied to four bible colleges so I thought it would be a good idea to know what I am getting into. I read up and through Mathew chapter seven and had to stop. There was just so much I had to digest, some of it was overwhelming. Go ahead, I dare you to read Mathew four through seven!

Anyway the one thing that really stuck out to me is a simply phrase Jesus used.

I tell you the truth...

It may not seem like a big deal to you but to me it is everything. My Saviour, my Creator, the one whose sandal I am not worthy to carry, tells me the truth. Lets not cheapen God for a second, if he wanted he could completely ignore me. He does not need me to survive, I need him. He sustains me, not the other way around. Jesus does not need to give me any time at all but he does. To make it all the better he is telling me the truth.

That may not seem to be a lot to you but I have been lied to, a lot. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, it was all hush hush. My parents did not want to answer my sisters or my own questions. It was hard to cope with the idea of my mom being sick but I did not know what was going on. That is hard.

I am just glad to know when the world is lying and hurting me, Jesus will tell me the truth...

My Eastern Essay...

2009-01-13T16:52:00.000-08:00

So I had to write an essay for all my college applications and this one I like a lot. The question was something to the extent of why do you agree with Eastern's Mission Statement. Enjoy.

Since the time I have been sixteen I have been looking and researching colleges that I felt to be appropriate for myself. In that time I have probably dreamt of attending twenty different colleges or so but my reasoning for wanting to attend those colleges were immature and childish. I wanted to go that college because my friend was there, that school because she was there and that university because they had a good football team. My reasoning for wanting to attend a certain college was not based on the integrity of that college but rather how much fun I could have there. Today I want attend a university that will be able to prepare me for life by instilling me with knowledge and ethics.

Recently I have been feeling a huge call to help the needy, especially the homeless. Somehow in popular Christianity we have seemed to forgotten about the poor, at least in our own neighborhoods. I have noticed that a lot of Christians would rather send a check to someone across the world than help their neighbor in need. Do not misunderstand me, it is wonderful to help those around the world by sending money to them but Jesus did not say I was broke and you wrote me a check. He said…

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” Mathew 25:35-36

Too many of our theologies on serving are pay, pray and get out of the way. Give the church money to help the needy, pray that we are successful in helping the needy and get out of the way. I think if we are going to be successful in serving the poor we need to get our hands dirty. That is why I like the Mission Statement of Eastern University. The sections covering Justice and Community scream that you want your students to be active in helping the needy. “We particularly seek to work with and for poor” and “…desire a campus community…that embodies values of Christian witness, caring and compassion, justice and integrity, competence and affirmation.” This speaks to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to how I feel called to serve Him.

What I got for Christmas...

2008-12-25T05:32:00.000-08:00

It is 8:30 in the morning, no one else in my family is up and we have not even began to think about opening presents. I have a pretty good idea what presents to expect under my tree. Every year since I have been 15 I have selected goodies from my favourite shopping catalogue, Musicians Friend. This year I asked for some Fender Single Coil Pickups and a amp stand but there is one thing I know I am getting.

Redeeming grace and love from my Savior! On the first Christmas we all got Immanuel, God with us! Christ came so he could be with us, so we could be with him for eternity! Selah, weigh my sins for my Christ has come to pay my debt! I got a best friend who knows me inside-out because he was there when I knit me together in my mother's womb.

Please do not forget your gift of the spotless lamb today, tomarrow or anyday.

Facing fears,,,

2008-12-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

"The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1)

Freaking hospitable! I hate them. They are disgusting and germy. When I have to go to one (usually to visit someone because I rather die then be in one) I refuse to touch things. I make people nervous because I will not sit down in a chair because that is just disgusting. When I walk down the halls I strategically walk in the center to avoid touching anything. Although if I am going to honest about it, the reason why I hate hospitable is because I spent to much time in them.

If you do not know my Mom died when I was 14 of lung cancer. She was sick for a good two years and during that time she was in and out of the hospitable. I used to visit her in them all the time and it was so hard. That was not my Mom in the hospitable bed, connected to the wall by an IV. My Mom was an active women. She was the PTA President, boyscout committee member, my baseball teams team mom, and these are just my activities she was active in.

My Mom died in a hospitable and since then I have only gone back three times. The first was for my friend Heather. She was having some internal problems but I really cannot remember what to be honest. That was super hard because she was in the same wing that my Mom died in. The second time was for Sammy after her surgery. That was hard because I was making her mom nervous because I was standing, she tried to get me sit. Needless to say I did not sit down. Today was the third time. I went to a nursing home to pass out presents and Christmas Carroll.

It was not to bad, besides almost passing out while singing Come All Ye Faithful. I was there for Jesus and that helped a lot. Visiting people in hospitable is going to be a big part of my career so I better get used to it. Besides what do I got fear if Jesus is my Lord?

Monetary Love...

2008-12-21T18:19:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who just knows how to love people. Sometimes she is pretty guarded and other times she can be a mean person, but if you are on her good side, she knows how to love. Personally I have never seen someone care for her family and friends so much, even though they do not show her the same love. By knowing her I have seen a clear picture of what Jesus must have been like while he roamed the earth. What is amazing is she does not believe in Jesus.

Sometimes we followers base are love on what we can get out of it. We love someone but not as much as the next because he or she did this. Our love can be based on gain and that is just wrong. Just think of the metaphors we use to talk about relationships.

We value people...

Value is a monetary term and we value what they can do.

Love is a nutrient...

Nutrients are a necessity to life and so is love but do we only love people to fill our own needs?

We invest in people...

Invest is another monetary term. Why do you invest in something unless you expect a return?

My friends family treats her like dirt but she still loves them. Her mother is alcoholic and is addicted to amphetamines. She told me that her mothers love is based on this "monetary love." If she is willing to get her mother alcohol or speed, she is loved. When she does not do these things for her mother, she is rejected and out casted.

We need to start loving like my friend and ultimately like Jesus. No more love, just agape...

On days like today...

2008-12-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

...I like to remind myself of a verse I found about a month ago...

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

It is so hard to separate the noise of the world from the voice of God sometimes. Sometimes I want the voice of the world to be the voice of God, while other times I want the voice of God to be the voice of the world. Then sometimes one is just so loud I cannot hear the other, today was one of those days.

You will never succeed...

You will always be alone...

You have nothing to offer...

God does not love you...

I just have to remind myself this world has nothing for me. The advise, the criticism and the love are void and empty. I know it is cliche and impossible to say I am not going to listen to the world anymore but I am going to try. I am sick of depression, pain and loneliness. God loves me and that is all I need tonight...

What I should of taught tonight at ABS...

2008-12-16T21:13:00.000-08:00

So I feel if I need to apologize to some of you, those of you who where at ABS tonight. I chickened out of a lesson that I felt led to teach. In a poor attempt to make up for my fallacy I am going to present what should have been presented today at ABS.

Mathew 1:18-25

"This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"-which means, "God with us."

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus."

Since the Christmas season is upon us, I think we really should look at who Jesus is and why he is here. Above is an account of the birth of Christ according to Mathew. Now what is interesting or most misunderstood about this verse is the use of Immanuel in it. The Angel told Joseph to the name his Child Jesus, so most people assume that Jesus and Immanuel are interchangeable but that is not the case.

Jesus is the Greek name for Joseph, which literally translates into Yawhay saves. The name of our saviour is Yawhay saves, pretty cool but wait. Immanuel is a title, sort of like Messiah, that means God with us. What I find fascinating with this is what happens if you put the two phases together.

Yahwhay saves when he is with us.

Think about it, when are we saved? When we confess of our sins, accept Christ and then we receive the Holy Spirit, God with us.

Gandhious?

2008-12-14T18:26:00.000-08:00

The other day at "the park" a server asked me if I hated her. I do not know why she asked that. At times I know I can show discontentment with my fellow co-workers but we are usually pretty cool. She is one of the few good servers at "the park," she never messes up her orders and she is a generally a nice person. None the less she asked me if I hated her.

I replied by saying, "No, I do not believe in hate. Only love can change people so why bother hating people?"

She replied with, "Awe, you are little Gandhi."

Gandhi?

Gandhi!

What about Jesus?

I did not know how to take her compliment. Gandhi was a great man but all his work was done in vain. His message was good but it was not 100% correct. It lacked the creator of love, Jesus! I mean Jesus is love. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

I have new goal for while I am at work, to show people the love of Christ. Not the love of Gandhi...

It's Friday...

2008-12-13T01:36:00.001-08:00

It’s Friday and I am scared and doubting.

Things are becoming very real for me in my life. I have one more semester at WCCC before I go off to real college and start to prepare for my life in ministry. I thought that this time of filling out applications and writing essays would be exciting but it has not been. To get into college and you have to sell yourself to the school, why should they pick you over the next guy. Personally I have trouble seeing why any school would want me. My GPA would make a mediocre batting average, my SAT scores would be an excellent credit report and the only thing I have going for me is extracurricular activities but that just shows I should spend more time studying.

It’s Friday and I am scared and doubting.

My recent doubts are not with God, they are with me. From the very start of my decision to follow this call to ministry has been rough. My father has not supported it, I have not strived to live it and now I doubt my actual call.

It’s Friday and I am scared and doubting.

I know God can work miracles through the small and weak. Gideon, David and Saul are all evidence of His ability to do so but I am same as them?

It’s Friday and I am scared and doubting.

I do not know if I am same as those guys but I do know God has not changed. If he wants me to be a pastor he will open the doors for me to do so. The more I have been praying about this I realize that my doubts are driven by fear of failure. By doubting myself I doubt God because he will provide the provisions necessary for me to succeed. Without God who am I? Just dirt (read Genesis if you did not get that one).

It’s Friday but Sunday’s coming!

One of my new favourite bands...

2008-12-09T13:55:00.001-08:00

Check out this song by one of my new favourite bands, The Glorious Unseen. Their music is just raw praise and worship. It is beautifully honest praise.

Slot machine god...

2008-12-08T20:28:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt like God is a slot machine or maybe that just your prayer life is like playing a slot machine? You know you need something in your life so you pray and cross your fingers for "7-7-7." Maybe sometimes you are not getting what you pray for so it is just better to walk away. On the other hand your life may be going pretty good so you keep on praying for the "Jackpot."

I know I have. At points in my life my relationship with God was as such. I would be so hurting and I would pray a quick prayer for forgiveness and pull that lever. When I did not get what I wanted I thought it was because of my sin and I would try not too. It was kinda of like putting more quarters in the machine, the payoff would be bigger if I was doing good things, right? That logic failed me and I thought it be just better to cut my loses and walk away.

Although I knew there was more to it. I knew God had to be real because of how he had effected my life. When I first excepted him in my life I felt healing and relief but what was different?

After time thinking about it I realized it was my prayer life. I was playing the slot machine god. There was no relationship involved, just me pulling the lever. The Christian prayer life is so important because it is how we connect with God, along with worship.

My life is built on a relationship not on a game...

Persuasion and Propaganda

2008-12-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Persuasion and Propaganda is a class that I elected to take next semester, well I guess that is a bit of stretch. My current speech professor is the professor for it and he insisted that I take it. Last week I met with a councilor to schedule and he sent me to another councilor to schedule. Lo and behold Mr. Culbya, my speech professor, standing in the room I was sent to.

"I am glad you are here because we need to get you into my Persuasion and Propaganda class."

Prior to this I did not plan on taking the class, I just was going to take another literature class. He asked me about and I pretty much just blew it off. He tracked me down. I do not know how but he made sure he was there to schedule me.

"Look, I need you in my class."

I gave speech on poverty that I thought was pretty good. The majority of class thought so as well and one girl told me it was the best persuasive speech she had ever heard. Apparently Mr. Culbya did as well because of that speech he wants me in this class.

"I can see it now, WCCC getting active against poverty."

The class takes a project and tries to persuade our school to get involved in it. Last year it was the organization "Nothing but Nets." This year he wants me to spearhead a project that will help people in poverty. I do not know what we will be doing but I do know I want to make a differnce. I want to make a difference in to those who need help and those who are doing the helping. It is an all to common belief that poverty is Asian, African, South American and Mexican problem but its not. Poverty is our problem.

That hurt...

2008-12-03T21:49:00.000-08:00

So I got bored and typed in "trendy Christianity" into my browser. Trendy Christianity has been on my mind and I was looking for a quote by Donald Miller about trendy Christianity. In all honesty this blog I am writing was going to be about trendy Christianity and how I do not like it but that changed when I saw something.

One of the hits linked my to "uncyclopedia.com." If you are unfamiliar with this website check it out because most of the times I find it hilarious. It is run by the same people who do wikipedia and is much like it. People write articles on a topic and they are published online but with uncyclopedia you are supposed to get it wrong (opposed to wikipedia, which is usually wrong). It is supposed to be funny but this one kinda hurt.

I will admit, it had me laughing at first. The article was on Christianity in general and the first line read, "Christianity is a form of fire insurance." That is just funny and do not worry, just think about it and you will laugh. I continued on reading and there was a section on quotes and all but one were made up, ridiculous quotes. The quote that was not made up was "Preach the gospel everywhere you go, use words if necessary."

I find the quote powerful and at the heart of what Jesus wants us to do but the author of the article disagrees. After the quote he wrote, "What the hell? That's an actually quote!" Obviously he was thinking that you cannot preach without speaking but the is not what old Francis meant. St. Francis meant that our actions should do our preaching, that we do not need words to reach people.

It did not hurt that this person made fun of Christianity, like I said I found the majority of the article amusing. What hurt is somewhere along the line someone missed a chance to preach the Gospel to this person without speaking, I just hope it was not me.

Small Things

2008-12-01T12:11:00.001-08:00

The Irresistible Revolution is quite possibly the third greatest writing that influences my own personal theology. The second and very close to the Irresistible Revolution is Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and of course, far ahead of both these great works is the Bible. What I love about Shane Claiborne’s vision community is how it is not new all. There are a lot of people who claim that Shane has revolutionary ideas about Christianity but if he would hear you say that he would simply say that he has been inspired by the church demonstrated in Acts.

In the video above, Shane is reading from his book. He starts out with quote from Mother Theresa that has just infected my soul of late. “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” It really makes me think about why we do things.

A lot of us like the feeling of giving. How giving to the poor makes us feel better about ourselves but we never really understand the problem, nor do we want to. I have noticed a trend in popular Christian churches. We like to do big mission trips in the summer. We might travel half the way across the world to China or Africa or Calcutta and when we return something amazing happens. World poverty ceases to exist or at least in our minds.

I am not minimizing the good things that happen on these big mission trips but when we just do the big things, who did we do it for? You see it is so easy to detach ourselves from the needy by going far away to help people. What are chances of you seeing those people ever again? It makes it very easy for the needy not to expect things from you. Then you will not have to worry about letting them down.

I want to suggest a new way or should I say an old way to serve. I live in a county that has 380,000 residents in it and our poverty rate is at 8.8%. We need to reach these people, you and I have to reach these people because who else will. The popular church of America likes to go to attractive places to serve people. Westmoreland County is probably not on any churches agenda to be served, so let us put on ours.

When we focus on these big mission trips as our way to serve we miss the heart of the Gospel. The good news is for all. We need to focus on small mission trips. Mission trips that occur on our way to work, in the halls of our schools and in our own community because “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”

How much do you fight...

2008-11-30T18:17:00.000-08:00

When I read the bible I sort of slip myself into the story. I like to insert my name for a character of the story and just run with it. It helps me understand what the particular story has to do with my life.

So I am reading Genesis 32 and I get to the part where Jacob wrestles with God. I insert myself for Jacob and just continue reading.

"That night Zaq got up and took his two wives (You go Deuce!), his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Zaq was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Zaq's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."

But Zaq replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." (Genesis 32:22-26 the Zaq Phillips Revised Version)

I find many things interesting with this passage. First off it makes me think of how much effort that it would take to wrestle with God. I am just throwing it out there but I would be willing to bet God is pretty buff. How could this man, how could I wrestle with God for so long?

The next thing I see is that God "touched" Jacobs hip and it was wrenched. This makes me think that maybe the struggle God was having with Jacob was not physical. Sure it ended up in a physical format but if God "touched" Jacob and it wrenched or dislocated Jacobs hip, could he not overpower him?

Now I am thinking about it. I know if I was to go head to toe with the creator of the universe I would loose. Personally I do not like to fight but if this struggle was more than physical I could last awhile. In fact I do it all the time. I feel a calling in my life and I put it off or do not do it at all. In fact I read this passage more than two weeks ago. I am in Exodus 18 now!

Which brings me back to my first point. How much effort does it take to struggle with God?

A lot, I am exhausted...

Sin and sinnners...

2008-11-27T23:01:00.001-08:00

I just got done watching the movie "Expelled" with Ben Stein and in it he exposes a startling secret in science. Instead of explaining the entire movie I thought it would be easier to show a trailer so take a look.

So while Ben is traveling the country interviewing scientist who truly believe in Evolution and Darwin Theory I could not help but notice that they all seemed angry with God. I know it sounds odd because they do not believe in God so maybe they where angry with the concept of God. Whatever the case may be, almost all of these Scientist admitted to believing in God at a point in there lives but stop believing after several advents in their lives. One of these scientist has made it his goal in life to eliminate the idea of God.

They are all so angry and I cannot help but think we are to blame for it. Are we not his stewards? Are we not to shepard his sheep until he returns? Is it possible that we have caused this bitterness in these incredible smart people?

Yes! Maybe not in all cases but in some for sure. I think as a body we tend to focus on sin to much. Jesus did not focus on sin but rather the sinner. When a prostitute came for healing he did not send her away until she was "clean." What would be the purpose of that?

Jesus wants us to come to him dirty in our sin so he can heal us. In the same way we should not send away those who sin from our presence. Rather we need to love them like Christ would.

We need to focus on the sinner rather than the sin. For example, what good would it do to out law abortion if we do not change the heart of sinner. We stopped the sin but we did not help the sinner.

I know it may sound crazy but I am just trying to be like Jesus...

What I want...

2008-11-27T21:41:00.000-08:00

In ministry (if you consider what I do ministry) you focus on others needs. I come in contact with several students from several different walks of life. Some of the students at our church come from families that are rich and there are other families not as fortunate. We have students that are surprisingly upbeat considering the riggers of adolescent life, then we have students who are suicidal. We got straight A students and we got students who are worried about graduating.

As someone who gets to interact with them on a weekly basis, there is nothing more than I want to take their pain and bare it. I would love to lift their burdens off their shoulders and just take it. It kills me to see people in pain, I do not know why but it just kills me. Often my own pain, suffering and sorrow gets put on the back burner because I am so consumed with trying to do something that only Jesus can do.

It is not healthy. My prayer life suffers because of it. Then my life suffers because I am not having an intimate relationship with Christ. Then you all suffer because I am moody (it is okay to laugh at that).

I do not want that. What I do want is to go back to ASP or well the way I lived at ASP. ASP is always tough. You work on projects that seem imposable to overcome, you are exhausted and you just know Thursday is going to suck. Yet you rely on your manna, that constant supply of Jesus to get you through.

I want to live desperately for Jesus, just like he lived for me...

Cease...

2008-11-23T19:30:00.000-08:00

I have been having a real hard time lately. Life is so scheduled, I probably could tell you exactly what I am doing next month to the day. I have no social life or friends for that matter. The few friends I do have I alienate because I am so busy.

And I am so lonely.

I just want to have joy again. Joy that used to be so abundant in my life. Joy that came with being around those who cared for me and those who I cared about. Joy that came with following the forth commandment, the sabbath.

I am being robbed of my life by my own ambition and I am tired of it. I am going to listen to God and start taking a day easy, just to relax and worship. I want to invite you to join me because well I am lonely. Just let me know...

The Antichrist...

2008-11-11T18:19:00.000-08:00

I do not know why but for some reason a lot of people are talking about the Antichrist these days. It is funny but since the 5th of November a lot of people have been talking about how the Antichrist will...

...rise to power with world wide euphoria.

...have great charisma, speaking ability and a plan to stabilize the economy.

...temporally save the world from military, economic and political problems.

I get the impression that a lot of people think that the results of election prove that a certain political figure is the Antichrist. Although I think these claims are absurd what really worries me is the concern and worry of those people. If you read my last blog, you know I am not worried but I am going some where different with this.

Some of the Characteristics of the Antichrist match those of Obama but there are plenty that do not match him. Let me make this clear, I do not believe Obama is the Antichrist. Personally from my own study I believe that claim is absurd but what if he was? Is there really need for concern? Alarm? Panic?

No! Since you know so much about the Antichrist that you can say he is Obama, then tell me what happens after his seven years of power on earth?

Jesus comes back for us and takes us to Heaven! There he will wipe away are every tear and personally I cannot wait for that. For the sake of Humanity, I hope I am wrong and he is the Antichrist because I got nothing to fear. Do you?

Obama is the President...Jesus is Lord

2008-11-06T18:38:00.000-08:00

Before any body corrects me, I know Obama does not take office until the new year. With that out of the way let me continue.

I have been listening to my Family, friends and WORD FM explain how Obama is going to ruin are Christian society. How he is going to buck the way we live our moral lives with his liberal views. I had one friend tell me how he is going to start a civilian police force, like Hitlers S.S. Yet as I hear all this fear from the people I know the most and those at WORD FM, I cannot help but think, who is their Lord?

Do you really believe that Obama is such a threat to our way of life that God will not be able to deliver us? Need I remind you that our God is the same God who delivered our ancestors out of Egypt under the oppression of Pharaoh? Need I remind you that our God is the same God who gave the Midianites into the hands of Gideon? Need I remind you that our God is the same God who defeated Goliath with a scrawny sheep herder named David? Need I remind your our God is the same God who hung on a cross, died and rose three days later so we need not to live in fear but rather in Him!

We forget that Jesus is in control of our world not matter who is in the White House. For the next four years and forever lets not forgot that. Instead let us take this as a challenge to "Fight for the Heart of Our King," as a good friend of mine would put it. Obama obviously does not have the Christian ideals some of us would like him to have (as far as I am concerned neither did McCain). Yet I remember of a man who did not have the ideals of Christ when I was first introduced to him. In fact he would rip Christians from their homes and execute them on the spot but he went on to be a great church leader. If you are wondering who I am talking about open your Bible to the book of Acts and start reading.

So if you have not figured it out, I am not to worried about this past election. Call me a determinist but I believe Jesus in control.

I have been putting off this blog...

2008-10-27T07:06:00.001-07:00

For the longest time I have been studying my Bible, half heatedly, to find what God thinks of me. It is something that has been important to me but honestly I was afraid to find out. I know that I am a failure to the standards of the world and if I cannot measure up to the world's expectations how can I measure up to God's? My biological Father thinks I am wasting my life so how could my Abba Father feel any different? When it comes to my worth, it is trampled and spat upon without many people knowing it. To make matters worse the "stampeders" are people who are really, really close to me. Family, friends and even my pastors have just made me feel worthless.

I love you all and I am not writing this to make you feel bad but rather to let you know I have found what God thinks of me and you. First let me say it again, I love you all and I forgive you for all you have done, please do not feel bad about the past.

"...to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir."
(Galatians 4:5-7)

God does not have to call us his children but he chooses to. His love for us is just that pure and great that he wants us to be his children.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

Read that again. God takes great delight in me, he will quiet or comfort me with his love and he will sing about me! I am honestly dumb founded how God could sing a song of praise about me. Along with being dumb founded I am relieved because God still loves me. I do not know what I was expecting to find today but I did find my heart. A love for God that I have not felt for a long, long time.

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " (Jeremiah 29:11)

What else could I ask for?

I have been thinking...

2008-10-20T21:26:00.001-07:00

I have been thinking and if Rick Warren is right when he says, "That Christians are educated past their obedience..." then we should reevaluate our faith. We should take a hard look at our own walk with Jesus Christ and find out where we are. I believe if Rick is right and we are educated past our own obedience, then we need to find out what we are not willing to do.

Jesus said that two commandments where the greatest.

He said to, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "

If we are unwilling to, Love the Lord our with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind, then we need to start there. We need to spend more intimate time with God and really come to peace with him. No more motions, just a pure relationship with our God, Jesus.

Once we accomplish that pure relationship with Christ then we need to, love our neighbor as our self. We need to get active in the lives of those who our Society, Government and Friends have forgotten. No more excuses, just love for our fellow man.

If we do those two things then the other will come.

Burn in Hell...

2008-10-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

I had this urge to listen the song Awesome God by Chris Tomlin, so I shot over to youtube.com to listen to it. I do this often with a variety of songs and I always like to read the comments at the bottom of the page. They are often funny because most of them do not make sense but there was no laughing as I read a comment left by a Christian to telling an Atheist to burn in hell.

It is really sad, that some people think that they have the authority to say that. God really is the only person who has the right to say that and yet the combination of the words "burn in hell" are not found in the Bible.

Funny, huh?

Maybe that is because we are supposed to LOVE OUR ENEMIES AND PRAY FOR THEM! Who are you reaching with hate? Who are you saving with your anger? Brothers and Sisters in Christ I urge you to compassionate with those who are love by Christ! Just to fill you in that is everybody.

Breaking the Mold...

2008-10-08T19:28:00.000-07:00

I have been told that I break the Christian mold on multiple occasions. I used to like that concept. It meant I was different from any other Christian, I stood out among my fellow brethren. Then I started to think about it and if I in deed did not fit the Christian mold, it was not by my doing. God created me (and not with a mold by the way...he "knit me together in my mothers womb..."). Also I was not trying to be different, I was trying and still am trying to be like Jesus.

I have been told I break the mold because I have long hair. Have you ever seen a picture of Jesus? Those lovely locks where made to head bang!

I have been told I break the mold because I care about the lowly. Jesus lived with the lowest of the lows, dining with prostitutes and tax collectors. Jesus lived then died on a cross in Golgotha so that all people, even the unlovely could find life in Him.

I have been told I break the mold because I interpret the bible in a "fresh new" way.

So I believe that we are obligated to help the needy and when I say help I do not mean give them a little money that you do not need. I mean give them what they need; food, clothing and shelter.

So I believe Jesus when he said "whoever believes in Him (Jesus) shall not perish but receive eternal life." Yes I believe if you believe Jesus is the Son of God and if you confess your sins you will receive eternal life. It does not matter if you are black or white, gay or straight, a killer or a saint, if you believe and confess you will be received into Heaven!

So I believe that it is okay to be a sinner. I am not saying go out and sin but rather it is okay because "all have fallen short of the glory of God." It is okay, Jesus loves you anyway!

So I believe that the Devil is as real as Jesus. A lot of people like to think Satan is this nominal force that does not matter hecause Jesus already defeated death. To an extent that is true. Satan is not a big deal, TO JESUS because he did not sin!

When it comes down to it, the statement anymore makes me sad, upset and utterly sick. If I am sticking out because I am acting like Jesus that means the majority of other Christians are not acting like him.

Here is a list of other Christian (Christianos rather but I do not want to explain that right now...) that "break the mold."

Amber Biddle

Ande Thomas

PM

Tim from Majesty who moved to California (sorry man I do not know your last name...)

Andrew from Majesty (ya if you work or worked at Majesty your last name turns into from Majesty.)

Dan Turny (I think I spelled it wrong...)

Brendan Berkley

Eric Phillips...I do not have a link but he is starting a Church in Pittsburgh!!!

There is a lot more out there and to list you all it would take so much time...

Ordinary Radical...

2008-10-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

I was invited to a protest the other day and I opted not to go. The main reason why is because I do not like protest. Personally I believe protest do not get much done, all that time you spend making a scene could be spent making a difference. Of course some protest are okay. I am not putting down the likes of Martin Luther King Jr. or Rosa Parks but I believe some people just protest to be seen.

Protesting at its core is a great thing but when it comes down to it, it does not get much done. I mean you can have an upward of 10,000 people at a rally but what gets done? Nothing really, a lot of people jump up and down while some one speaks getting the crowd hyped. You can raise a few eye brows, maybe turn a few hearts but could not all the people in the crowd get together and do something? If 10,000 people helped to rebuild parts of the ghetto, would that not leave an impact?

When it comes down to it, I think we like the romantic side of being an activist. I have had dreams of marching down Birmingham holding hands with a person of different race but not caring because I know we are all one. Marching onward even though I was getting sprayed with the fire hose and the police let the dogs go. That would be exciting!

Some people think everyday life has to be boring and not radical. That you are suppose to conform to the norms of the world unless you are with others that share your same views. Who are changing if you demonstrate your views with people who believe the same exact thing as you? Everyday life is radical and I am writing this today to tell you that I will be a protester, demonstrator and activist everyday.

No, I will not be caring picket signs or wearing shirts that say what is on my mind. Simply I will demonstrate love to one person at a time, slowly taking over the world as an ordinary radical.

What I Did for Jesus Today...

2008-10-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Mathew 25:40

I have started giving guitar lessons to a couple of students that go to my church. One of which does not have her own guitar so I told her I would help her find a good one to get her started. We where supposed to go the other day but we were not able to because I got held up at work but today I went to Guitar Center to scout out a few possible guitars for her. Okay, I really just wanted to check out the new Gibson Humming Birds they got in (awesome by the way)!

So after completely following in love with a guitar that cost more than I make in a year...not kidding...I started to drive home a little bummed. I exited the mall parking lot and began to think about where I was going to eat lunch. Then I noticed someone in the distance holding a cardboard sign.

"Please Help...God Bless"

I pulled up to this lady and ask her what I could do. She told me how she was stranded in the area and needed to get to Erie. I told her that I was not going that way and rolled up my window and continued to drive off. My heart was heavy as I sat in my warm, safe and dry truck as it started to rain. How could I leave someone Jesus died for stranded in the rain?

The light turned green and whipped into a parking lot and went to her and asked her if I could buy her lunch. Without hesitation she said anything would do and asked if I could get something for her friend who was working the other side of the intersection. So I walked down to McDonald's and got four burgers, two Fries and two coffees for them. Walked on back and handed the food to her friend and walked back to the other women with whom I spoke.

I was ready to leave but some where between my walk to the other women, I knew lunch was not going to cut it. Jesus did say "when I was hungry you fed me" but he also said "when I was thirsty you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." These women needed so much more and no one was helping them.

When I got to the other women I told her I gave the food to her friend and then I told her I did not have any cash but I had to find an ATM because I wanted to buy them their bus tickets. So I walked around and eventually ended up and K-Mart and I bought two ponchos and used the cash back option to get them some cash. I got back to them and gave them the cash and ponchos and stood with them for awhile and found out that their names are Monica and Heather.

I did not write this to say I am better than you because I helped these people (and by the way it does not make me a better person). The thing is the USA is a Christian Nation and is populated by Christian People and in the time I was with Monica and Heather only one person besides me helped them. I saw plenty of "Jesus Fish" bumper stickers on cars driving past, avoiding eye contact with us.

And we wonder why we are called hypocrites.

Praise You In This Storm

2008-09-28T18:49:00.001-07:00

I find the best way to cope with everyday life is to worship. It is what I was made to do, even though God blessed me with me this terrible voice (I think He thinks it is funny).

So anyway, I am at "the Park" getting slammed by the gayest checks imaginable. I mean I was getting omelets, "American Burgers" and t-bones all at once, it was relentless. Starting to get frustrated I start to sing "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns.

As we started to slow down I started to think about the storms in my life and how they affected me. The first one to come to my mind was, of course, my Mother dying.

I know the reason why my Mother died was so I could find Jesus. In my desperation to find stability in life I found my rock to base my life in Jesus. Although, that day at "the Park" I found out how far I have came.

The day my Mother died, I cannot explain to you my pain. Mind you I was 14 and I truly believed she was not going to die but she did. My world crashed that day, I did not think I was going to make it. Everyday, for a good four years was a struggle.

As I thought about her death I realized that it had been six years earlier that month. I had completely forgot about her on the day that she had died and that killed me. It still kills me, I do not know who I have become. How could I forget about her, especially on that day?

That is where I am today but...

I'll praise You in this storm
And i will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

You wear your cross like a DAGGER!!!

2008-09-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

So I am really getting into Norma Jeans new album, the Anti Mother and it is pretty angsty. I like angst, especially when it has to do with Christianity. I consider their words to be constructive criticism for our faith, which we desperately need. On the song "Vipers, Snakes and Actors" there is a line that says "You wear your cross like a CROWN, You wear your cross like a DAGGER," and it has stuck with me. What gives us the right to act like we do?

My last blog was about wearing your cross like a crown but this on is about wearing your cross like a dagger.

A lot of people have done wicked things in the name of God. It is really, really sad to see these things occur. I mean just think about the Crusades, the Salem Witch Trials and even the War in Iraq. No wonder the cross offends some people like the swastika offends most, but these things where done in name of God not with God in mind. Anybody can say God approves of their activity but only those who actually consult God knows if he does.

The cross is not about oppression, it is about freedom. Some Christians do not understand God gave us the choice to follow him or not to follow him. Some Christians do not understand if another person does not want to be a Christian it is their choice and their choice alone.

I am not telling you not to be an evangelist but I am telling you to watch how you spread the good news. Jesus never told anybody follow me or else, it was their choice. Christ used love and compassion for those in need, should we not do the same?

I do not want to be like other Christians...

I WANT TO BE LIKE CHRIST!!!

You wear your cross like a CROWN!!!

2008-09-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

I would just like to start this blog off by saying I hope this does not offend you. As always my blogs are created so that you, the reader, will think a little bit. It is my sincere effort in ever blog I create to not harm anybody but most of my blogs come from personal experience and what I observe in ever day life.

Have you ever noticed the crosses that we wear on necklaces? I have, they are usual made of gold, refined in fire so they are pure and smooth. Some of them have a skinny Jesus hanging on them wearing a diaper, but is this a good depiction of the real cross? NO! Although what I find more alarming is how we wear them...

Being a Christian is about the coolest thing in the world (at least to me) but some Christians take it a little too far. Maybe that is is not the greatest choice of words, maybe they live their lives in a way Jesus would not want them to, is a better way to put it. What I am getting at is they where there crosses like a crown because they are a Christian now and this some how makes them better than others.

Being a Christian is not about being better, it is about being forgiven. More importantly it is about getting into the lives of those who are not forgiven. We should not judge others because of their choice not to follow Christ, we should love them all the same.

Again I hope this blog is not made to offend anybody but to rather probe your thinking. Am I like that? That is what I want you to think because we can better the Christian body if we love more like Christ. I acted like that for years, putting down my friends because they drank and had sex. I acted as if I was better than them and most of my friends that I did that to are not saved and it could be because I acted self righteous.

As always I pray that you can find peace with God.

God Bless America?

2008-09-16T18:20:00.000-07:00

God bless America, really?

You know sometimes the moral majority, I use that term lightly, thinks that the United States is always within God's plan. Or maybe our rulers believe that since our country was founded under the grace of God (and even back then we still were not in God's plan completely...remember slavery? Just one of many huge errors our country made in the name of God...) that what ever they decide to do is within God's will. All together more likely in my mind is that our countries leaders use God as a advertisement to sell their product.

By the grace of God and our military you will be safe from terrorist! And if you do not support the war then your a commie and an atheist!

Give me a break! Just because someone says God approves of something does not mean God actually does (that is actually a characteristic of the Antichrist rev. 13:1).

Why are we so blind? We follow the crowd going down the wrong path, proclaiming and preaching the gospel of the Suburban Jesus! Just because America supports something does not mean we, as Christians have too!

If you add, "God bless America" to your prayers I urge you to say something else. God bless the World. There are Christians all around the world who need your prayers and there are non-believers who need your prayers all the more.

Instead of following the "moral majority" down the path to the Jesus of Suburbia lets follow someone else.

Jesus.

A Phrase I do not like...

2008-09-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

This past Wednesday I was sitting in my Speech class when the guy sitting behind me asked what the back of my shirt said. I responded by saying, "I don't know, my eyes are up here." The class started to chuckle and our instructor walked in. He was curious to what was so funny so I explained to him what happened. With a little laughter he walked over to me and began to read the back of my shirt.

"They brought Him to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull)."
(Matthew 15:22)

Not being a familiar with this verse my instructor quickly responded to my shirt by saying, "What kind of cult are you in?"

"The Jesus cult." I responded, "that is from the Bible. You should open one up."

"Oh I haven't in awhile, afraid I will get struck by lightning."

Like nails on a chalkboard.

So many times when I talk to people about going to church or reading the bible they respond in this manner. It is there fear talking. They do not honestly think they would be struck by lighting but I think they are afraid of being found out. I think that when people say this they are afraid of being judged by other Christians because they are not perfect. So they dismiss Christianity because they "cannot live like that. There are to many rules to follow and I would have to give up so much."

So I was just wondering if in the Bible God has ever struck any one dead with Lighting. It turns out that "lightning bolt" only appears six times in the bible and God never strikes anyone dead. In fact he never hits anyone with lightning, he only strikes the earth near people to scatter them. I got curious and wondered if my search was too narrow, so I hacked off bolt. This resulted in 40 more hits (46 in all) and still God had not struck some sinner for walking into his house.

I do not like that phrase at all because it does not represent the true God. If you are searching for him, you do not have to be perfect, you just have to seek his perfection. In his death and resurection he redeemed you.

God's Grace is Sufficient for ME...

2008-09-04T12:46:00.000-07:00

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God's grace is sufficient for me.

I have been told this several times and I have this to people even more. It is such a fundamental principal of what I believe to be true with God. The other week a friend of mine told me how he messed up big time. He does not believe in God but he some how finds comfort in talking to me about his problems. I do not know why because I usually tell him the same thing over and over again.

Jesus loves you and he forgives you. His grace is sufficient for you.

Although, until yesterday I did not realize that God's grace was sufficient for me. I did at one point but somewhere along the way I stopped believing that. Personally I felt I had been playing the game long enough, that I had been a Christian long enough that I was above God's grace. I know it sounds crazy, I mean the name of my blog is "Amazed by Grace," but I did.

I felt I could not sin, that if I sinned I was not a "good Christian." I am not talking about intentional sinning but unintentional sin. You know sin you do subconsciously. Stubbing your two and swearing. Taking a glance at some unholy places. Thinking poorly about someone. I am not condoning this behavior but saying that somewhere along the way we will screw up and this is where I am weak.

I felt if I committed those sins, which I did, people would realize that I was imperfect, which I am. What is worse I felt that I had to deal with it by myself. I had to stop sinning and stop relying on God. I felt I was above God's grace. That I did need his grace to save me that I could do that on my own.

This is a huge step for me in my walk and I just wanted share it with you.

The Miracle of Restraint

2008-08-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have been asking me lately why there are no miracles anymore. Why does God just not show himself by performing a huge miracle?

“If I saw a talking ass Zaq, I would believe.” (I was pretty tempted to tell this person to look in a mirror…)

Now as much as some would like to say there are no miracles, I would like to disagree. There are countless miracles in our world. Plenty of people have been cured of illnesses with no medical treatment other than prayer. How about some of the survivors of 9-11 attacks on the world trade center? Several people lived for days under thousands of pounds of rubble. Let us not forget about every day miracles when families are brought back together, when people get through there depression and when people forgive others through Jesus!

Yes there are miracles! Now I know some of you are thinking, “Well that is some cool stuff but what about the big stuff? Why doesn’t God just perform some huge miracle and shut up his skeptics?”

I think one of the biggest reasons why we do not see big miracles today is because it is not broadcasted by the media. Nice stories that have a happy ending do not sale, they want tragedy and horror. Look at the Quecreek mine accident in 2002. There are mine accidents all over the US ever year but this one was different. It was declared a National Disaster. No offence to any of the nine who were trapped in the mine but there are bigger mine accidents every year that do not get attention like this. The reason why is because those other accidents have glimmers of hope. This accident looked hopeless but miraculously they were found. If you do not remember let me remind you.

The nine where trapped somewhere in the mine, the rescuers did not know where. They had an educated guess but knew the only way to get to them was to drill 240 feet into the earth. It was a race against the clock because the longer they were in the ground the better chance they would die, in addition the water in the mine was rising creating a watery tomb. 77-hours later, miraculously, the miners rose from the mine.

Did you forget about that?

Jesus had every opportunity to perform huge miracles. He could have gone to entire cities and snapped his fingers to heal all there sick, but he did not. He could have called fire and hail from the skies to make people believe, but he did not. He could have flown around like superman saying “hey look at me”, but he did not.

Why? Well that is the miracle of restraint. You see Jesus could have done anything huge to get followers (actually he was tempted too) but he did not. The reason why is because that is not the relationship he wants us to have with him. If he just did huge awesome things, would we follow him because we wanted to have a relationship with him or because he was cool? Yancey puts it best in his book, The Jesus I Never Knew.

"More amazing is his refusal to perform and to overwhelm. God's terrible insistence on human freedom is so absolute that he granted us the power to live as though he did not exist, to spit in his face, to crucify him. I believe God insists on such restraint because no pyrotechnic displays of omnipotence will achieve the response he desires. Although power can force obedience, only love can summon a response of love, which is the one thing God wants from us and the reason he created us."

God has given us every reason to believe in him. It is up to you to find him.

Call me crazy...

2008-08-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

The toughest part of being a Christian follower for me is living in this world. Do not get me wrong, I am not going to go commit suicide to go be with my heavenly father and I am not praying to have my life taken away from me before it is my time. What I am saying is I live in a world that is not just Christ followers and that kills me. It is the way God made things and I am not questioning why he did this but it is hard. What is even harder is I have friends right now if Jesus would come they would not be in Heaven with me. I cannot stand it but it is reality.

The biggest reason most of my friends or people I have encountered do not believe is because they believe there is not enough proof.

“Zaq, if your mighty God could just show himself to me I would believe.”

While being a follower of Christ is about having faith, I do not believe you have to have perfect faith to believe. If that was true then a handful of people would be “true Christians.” Jesus rebuked his disciples for having little faith and told them if they had “faith the size of a mustard seed” they could move mountains. I guess you could take the first twelve of the list.

What I am getting at is you do not have to have “perfect faith” to be a Christian. You can have doubts, questions and struggles and still be a Christian. There are no parameters to follow Christ, no set list of rules you have to follow to be a Christian. God has just given us guidelines for a successful and happy life and as his followers we should follow them.

Recently I have been asked, “If there was no Heaven would you still be a Christian.”

Yes. At first I made the question complicated, I over thought it. At the time I still said yes but now I believe I have a better reason. You see my life, my walk with Jesus Christ is not goal oriented. On the rare occasion when I do not give in to temptation, it is not because I am afraid of being rejected from Heaven. No not all but rather because I do not want to do that to Jesus. He died on the cross for me so I could be without sin but to consciously sin anyway would be like punching Jesus in the stomach. It is like when your best friend asks you not to do something but do it anyway, it is selfish. I am sure it has happened to you, how did you feel?

I do not want to do that to Jesus. Call me crazy (it will not be the first time…) but Jesus is my best friend and I do not want to do that to him.

Skillet Yours to Hold Acoustic

2008-08-15T20:54:00.005-07:00

This song really explains me lately...

Religious Radicals and Terrorist...

2008-08-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

Early this year when I was talking to my Dad about the up coming election I told him how I liked some of Obama's ideas. I should have known better because my Dad is very conservative and this launched us into an argument.

"It's not because he is black I don't like him, it's because he is Muslim."

Continuing with our conversation I asked my Dad if he knew anything about the Muslim culture and he responded by saying he knew that, "a group of them where radicals..."

Which is true, there is a group of Muslims who are radical. There are a group of Muslims who are terrorist and fight for what they believe in but how narrow is that view?

I asked my Dad if he thought that any Christians where radicals. He replied by saying that there where, that "Holy Rollers" and Skinheads where radicals (I agree with Skinheads but some would probably consider me a "Holy Roller" but radical is not necessarily a bad term). Then I asked him if he thought any Christians where terrorist.

"No."

I just walked away to avoid a huge confrontation. As far as I am concerned the War on Terror is terrorism. We are asking God for providence the same way the Terrorist asked Allah for providence on 9-11. What happened to loving our enemies?

We are no better than Osama him self.

What grieves my soul...

2008-07-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

World poverty is at all time highs...

I am not talking about high gas prices. I am not talking about the Latrobe lock out. I am not talking about minimum wage not being high enough. I am talking about world poverty.

Most of us do not know how good we have it, I do not know how good I have it. There are so many simple things I take for granted everyday like clean water, food, a home and clothes. All over the world in Africa, South Asia and down our streets people do without these basic necessities.

And I am to blame...

I am having an issue finding it but I believe somewhere in the bible Jesus says, "If you have an extra pair of clothes and someone goes naked, it is your responsibility," or something like that. I just gave away 7 garbage bags full of clothes and I am still have too many. That is ridiculous.

20% of the world has 80% of the stuff and I am apart of that 20%. It is torturing my soul as I grapple with what that means. I am responsible for the worlds poverty.

Maybe not entirely but I am doing my fair share to help. Half the world lives on less than 2 dollars a day. Right now I am typing on a machine that supersedes there entire yearly income. Right now I have earned more money in my short life than most are expected to earn in their lives.

And I am complaining because my apartment does not have a couch...

Why is there so much evil?

2008-06-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

I consider myself to be on front line of this on going war in between good and evil. Although, as some as my atheist friends like to point out, if God was real there would not be any evil at all.

"If God is so good, then why is there so much evil? It does not make sense Zaq, if God is so good to his people then how could he allow events like the Holocaust to happen? Does that sound like a good God to you?"

I will be honest, until now I have not had a good answer to this question. I have always relied on "stock" Christian answers like, "God works in mysterious ways..." but now I agree with them.

No, I am not saying God is not real. I am not saying God is not good. In fact, I believe God is the infinite, never ceasing good. What I agree with is there is no evil.

You see what is wrong with my friends and so many others idea of God is that he can be measured. That science can measure God on some sort of scale but you cannot because God is infinite. God is on going and never ending, much like his goodness.

There are many things science cannot measure, one example is cold. You can measure heat but not cold. You can have little heat, lots of heat, super heat, mega-super heat and no heat, that is what cold is, lack of heat. If you were to measure heat it would start with -458 degrees (absolute zero) and never end because heat, like God, is infinite. Cold is just a word we use to describe the lack of heat. If cold was real, it would go on forever.

Another example is darkness. Darkness is not something but rather the lack of something, the lack of light. Again you can little light , lots of light, bright light and no light which we call darkness. If darkness was something it could get darker and darker.

What is wrong with my friends idea is that it is based of the principles of duality, which says there are two sides to each coin. That there is a hot and cold but we now know there just heat. That there is light and dark but we now know there is just light. That there is good and evil but as I am about to explain, there is no evil.

God is the infinite good. So what is evil but the lack of God? When God flooded the world because man was evil he found that Noah was good because he "walked with God." When I sin, I do not do it with God in mind. When someone cuts me off in traffic and I tell them they are "number 1" I do not do it because God is with me. If you are christian think about it, when do you feel the farthest from God?

I feel the farthest from God when I am in sin. When I do "evil" or when I lack God in my life. You see the Holocaust was not performed by God but rather without God. Man since the creation has been trying to rebel away from God, to take care of themselves. Since that day, we have messed everything up. It was not in God's plan for us to be without him or to be evil. It is my sincerest belief that God has done everything he could to win back our affection, he even gave up his son.

In all of his provisions, why are we so richly blessed?

Are You an Angel?

2008-06-15T17:50:00.001-07:00

"In the midst of the most painful faces, Angels show up in the strangest places."

If you do not know my past week was spent serving a family in Bluefield WV. It was such an honor to be able to show the love of Christ to a family face to face. I have given money to charity before but honestly I have not volunteered like this many times. Do not get me wrong, if you donate money to charity that is great, I just have the ability to serve in other ways and have not been fulfilling that obligation.

I will never forget how the son of the home owner told me that, "No one has helped my mother before" and how much this meant to him.

My group had the chance to show the love of Christ to this family for the first time, what an honor but yet what a responsibility! Christ does not love as the world loves; he loves you no matter what. I thought this would be a problem because one little "slip of the tongue" could turn this family away from God.

Then I met Miss Myra and she called us her "little angels." It brought a tear to my eye because I realized what this meant to her. After that I knew that God was working through us and there would be no problems with that!

The point is I became an angel to this family. I made this families life better in a week and next week another group will do the same. Personally I need to reach out more to those who are in need of Christ's love. I am going to try to organize something in the area I live to help people out. If you have any ideas on how to help people shoot me an e-mail.

This is not a story about my week but rather a challenge to you! How will you become an angel?

How Do You Love?

2008-06-01T18:52:00.001-07:00

Today when we read our bibles we are not getting the real deal. We are getting robbed of the authors sensory details because the language they used was much more descriptive. When you read the bible you miss so much if you do not know the language it was written in. Now I am not saying I am some "master" of biblical languages, I am far from it. To be honest I only know a few phrases and words of Greek and Hebrew but I believe they are very important to know and understand the bible. For example the Greeks had three primary words that they used for love.

The first is eros and it is a romantic passionate love that often dealt with lovers. We get the English word erotic from eros.

The second word is philia and it is a brotherly love. The love you share with your family and close friends. I am positive you all have heard of Philadelphia, which is the city of brotherly love.

And the third word is Agape which is the unconditional love of God. It is how God loves me and you and Joe Schmo down the street. Agape is the love that allows God to have grace for a sinner like me. Agape is why I take a stand for Christ and love him back but how do I love him? A better question would be how am I supposed to love the most lovely and lovable person to ever live?

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Mathew 22:36-37

Jesus said we are to love God with all our heart, soul and mind but how is he saying it? Is he saying eros, philia or agape the Lord your God? It is pretty obvious that eros is not the word he uses, so is philia or agape? Are we supposed to love God like our brother or are we supposed love Him like he loves us? Is it even possible to love Him like he loves us?

The word Jesus uses here is agape, which I find to be amazing. Agape is amazing when it is used to describe the way God loves us but its hard to imagine loving like God. I do not know about you but it is easy to agape God on Sunday during worship but what about on a Wednesday? In the middle of your own monotonous week do you agape God? Do you even philia God by Friday? Or when things are going "good" in life it is easy to agape God but how about during the bad times? In the middle of drought when your are just dying for the rain, do you agape God?

I am ashamed to say it but I do not. It is my life and I have been failing at this aspect so much. By Friday I do not even philia God, he is just after thought in my life. But that is about to change because I am not afraid to agape my Saviour. I beg you to do the same and I beg you keep me conscious about it. There is not a second that goes by that Jesus does not agape me and I do not want to miss a second of agape-ing Him.

I Just Want to Go Home!

2008-05-27T19:26:00.001-07:00

If you know me well you would probably say that nothing is ever good enough for me. My actions are never as good as they could be; I just feel as if I could be doing more Jesus. You know He died for the sins of the world but I cannot stop dropping the "F-Bomb" when I stub my toe. At times I feel my life is just so petty and meaningless.

For instance, few times a year I get the reigns to teach during a youth ministry event and several times I have blown it. I have prepared what I thought was going to be a firecracker of message that was just going to collide with the worlds of the youth. Like my message was just going to infect the lives of those youth and I end up just standing there, ever eye staring at me as if I am nuts. And I wonder...

Why am I doing this?

Has God really called me?

Can I not just get to heaven already?

At times I just feel so uncomfortable with my surroundings. Like a Jew in Berlin during the 1940's, I roam this earth trying to find my home. There is one problem though, this is not my home. I am a Jew in hostel Berlin during the 1940's but I am okay with that.

You see if I was comfortable with my surroundings then I would be of this world and not of God. If I get comfortable in this earthly tent, sin will engulf me as if someone pulled the tent poles out. Darkness will surround me and I will be stuck looking for the opening of the tent all by myself but there is another option.

Jesus has prepared a room for me in his fathers house and I long to be in it. You see, this place is not my home and I am not comfortable. Life is a path, death is a destination.

"Son, he said, grab your things, Ive come to take you home." Peter Gabriel, Solsbury Hill

Zeitgeist (Part Two)

2008-05-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

Alright guys like I said in my last blog, this blog is going to be entirely about the Gods that came before Jesus. In this part of the video Zeitgeist starts to compare Jesus Christ to gods that were worshipped thousands of years before Christ. Although Zeitgeist uses clever ways to make these gods look more like Jesus than they really are.

They use gods that have a laundry list of attributes that have changed and evolved from year to year and from myth to myth.
They use gods whose attributes have been altered after the birth, death and resurrection of Christ.
They stretch the truth, male false accusations and flat out lie about their "research" and "findings."

Because Zeitgeist compares several gods to Jesus I will be only discussing Horus in detail to save time.

P4, S3- "He (Horus) is the sun, anthropomorphized, and his life is a series of allegorical myths involving the sun's movement in the sky."

The earliest records of Horus state that Horus was a sun god, not the sun. To be more precise, the right eye of Horus represented the sun while the left represented the moon. Like I stated above, Horus has a large list of characteristics, that range from myth to myth, that Zeistgeist picked and chosed from to make him look more like Christ. In fact Horus has over 20 names that describe his characteristics. These names are Horus, Harmerty, Har-Si-Ese, Heru, Heru-ur, Heru-khuti, Harsiesis, Har-Wer, Osiris, Ra, Atum, Atum-Ra, Ra Herakhty, Neferhor, Nekheny, Mekhenty-er-irty, Khenty-er-irty, Har-Behedti, Ihy, Bebti, Heru-sema-tawy and many others.

p4, S5- "For instance, Horus, being the sun, or the light, had an enemy known as Set and Set was the personification of the darkness or night"

Horus was not the sun or the light he was a sun god. This is just a poor attempt to draw a parallel to Christ.

P5, S1 Part 1- "Broadly speaking, the story of Horus is as follows..."

Broadly speaking...

Well if you know my pastor, Pastor Dave, then you know what to do. You see he told our congregation when ever something is repeated three times, you should pay close attention. This is not an introduction to the next paragraph, rather it is a disclaimer. Zeitgeist knows what they are saying is false but are just blinded by so much hate to admit they cannot prove their story, so they fabricate a story. A story they hope you will except and follow... the very same thing they are accusing Christians of doing. To make things worse for Zeitgeist edited their movie and transcript after they realized what they said. If you request an original transcript P5, S1 will say "Boldly speaking..."

P5, S1 Part 2- "Horus was born on December 25th"

This is not an attribute of Christ. It is a tradition put in place by the Catholic church in 354 A.D. The reason why the Catholic church chose this day to celebrate the birth of Christ is because pagans celebrated the winter solstice on that day. The theory behind it was if the pagans celebrated the birth of Jesus on the 25th they could not celebrate the winter solstice and thus be forced to chose in between the two. There is no recorded date of Jesus' birth in the bible so therefore the actually date cannot be verified.

p5, S1 Part 3- "of the virgin Isis-Meri."

The impregnation of Isis is often debated by many historians because there are so many different versions. Although, when you look at the references Zeitgeist uses they say nothing about Isis being a virgin

"It is often argued that Isis was not a virgin because, in one version of the myth, she impregnated herself using the severed phallus of Osiris [the envisioned father of Horus] after he was killed and torn to pieces.... A ‘miracle conception.'"

"However, in another version of the myth, Frazer points out that Isis was impregnated with Horus: While she fluttered in the form of a hawk over the crops of her dead husband... a ‘virgin conception'"

It may be odd but it is not a virgin conception. Also if it is such a huge deal that Isis was virgin, do you not think it would have been recorded? The word virgin is not mentioned inside of the actually myth but later added by the author.

P5, S2 Part 1- "His birth (Horus) was accompanied by a star in the east..."

Later in the video, Zeitgeist will unveil that the star that announces the birth of Christ was Sirius. Although that makes no sense considering I am looking out my window right now and I have located Sirius. Was Jesus just born again? Of course not, this is just another pathetic attempt by Zeitgeist to relate the birth of Christ to astrological advents. Sirius is visible almost everyday of the year so what would draw the magi to it? It wouldn't, it was not the sign that was prophesied by the prophets.

P5, S2 Part 2- "Which in turn, three kings followed to locate and adorn the new-born savior."

Biblically speaking, there are no kings who visit Jesus just magi and the number of magi is non-specific.

P5, S3 Part 1- "At the age of 12, he was a prodigal child teacher, and at the age of 30..."

Zeitgeist sources do not reveal that, Horus was a "prodigal child teacher." The only reference, that Gerald Massey (the author of the reference Zeitgeist uses) uses, of Horus being 12 is that is when Egyptian child becomes an adult. Although Massey continues on to describe at the age of 30 is when a Egyptian becomes a real adult. From this data Zeitgeist came to the conclusion that Horus, "at the age of 12, he was a prodigal child teacher, and at the age of 30 he was baptized by a figure known as Anup..." Give me a break, another blatant lie!

P5, S3 Part 2- "...he was baptized by a figure known as Anup..."

From my personal studies I have found no such claim. Zeitgeist sources claim that Horus was pleading to the gods at the boat of Anup. Although, surprisingly the baptism of Horus by Anup is not mentioned. Another fabrication by Zeitgeist.

P5, S4- "Horus had 12 disciples he traveled about with, performing miracles such as healing the sick and walking on water."

Again my personal studies, the studies of other Zeitgeist debunkers and the studies of Zeitgeist do not reflect Horus had 12 disciples. Rather that the 12 signs of the Zodiac represent the twelve disciples, although I will go into further detail about that later in another blog.

p6, S5- "Horus was known by many gestural names such as The Truth, The Light, God's Anointed Son, The Good Shepherd, The Lamb of God, and many others."

Zeitgeist list two sources for this claim. The first is The Christ Conspiracy, by Acharya and it is listing the attributes of Osiris not Horus. The second is The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, by Gerald Massey. In that work Massey excludes to list his own citation. Without a citation it is to be assumed to be opinion not fact because you cannot verify the claim.

P7, S5- "After being betrayed by Typhon, Horus was crucified, buried for 3 days, and thus, resurrected."

Crucifixion was a form of Roman capital punishment and is a fact that is was not developed during the supposed life of Horus. In fact, there is no crucifixion, 3 day death and resurrection scenario of any person, let alone another god, before Christ. This point will be made clearer in my next paragraph.

P8- "These attributes of Horus, whether original or not, seem to permeate in many cultures of the world, for many other gods are found to have the same general mythological structure."

Whether original or not...

You know what that means, listen up. Again Zeitgeist is warning you that they might not have been completely truthful. Zeitgeist knows if these attributes of Horus and other pre-Christain gods are added on after the life, death and resurrection of Christ it makes them, the pre-christian gods, look like the copy cat gods and that is what Zeitgeist claims Jesus to be. As far as I am concern we could close the book here. In a court of law you just have to put a shadow of doubt into jury to get your defendant acquitted but I am going on the offensive. I want you to have no doubt that Zeitgeist is just anti-christian propaganda. So I continue.

P7- Attis

This god cut off his genitals and planted them in the ground. Later an almond grew from his genitals. After the almond tree died an evergreen grew in its place. How is this related to Jesus?

(and on a completely different side note I think I made a huge discover! Is this why we call male genitals "nuts." I mean this man's genitals grew an almond tree which produces nuts and are the seeds of the almond tree! I mean I am just saying, it could be. I am sorry I could not resist!)

P8- Krishna

A god who is still worshiped to this day. The claims that Zeitgeist make about Krishna are true but do not surface until the 11 century. "Whether original or not!"

p9- Dionysus of Greece

The god of wine press according to Greek legend. After his death, he just remained dead. Zeitgeist shows no support of their claims.

p10- Mithra of Persia

Mithra was not known to the Roman world until the 2nd century A.D. How is this god a possible influence on the new testament writings considering it was already completed by this point.

It is getting late again and I have discussed everything that I believe is relevant. My next blog will be about the false claims that Jesus life is just merely a series of astrological events. Until then I just want to say propagandist pray on those who are weak. They look for those who are having hard times, maybe health issues or family issues. Hitler convinced an entire country that Jews where evil because they where weak. I am telling you, do not be weak and look at the facts. They add up to one answer, Jesus is real and he loves you. If you do not know and want to know how to get to know him give me a shout at phillipsz@my.wccc.edu.

Zeitgeist (Part One)

2008-05-21T22:38:00.001-07:00

If you did not read my Introduction to this then please read this.

Zeitgeist is truly one thing, propaganda. Look at how it was made. The movie is made to mess with your emotions. The intro to part one shows wars, starving people, cruelty and the 9-11 attacks. Those scenes can get people angry and make them ask the question, "Why did this happen? Why are there so many tragedies?" Then Zeitgeist proposes an answer...there is no God. It kind of makes you think about it. Although Zeitgeist does not deliver their answer to me.

This movie is brilliantly made for its purpose; to get people to doubt God's existence. What makes it even better is how hard it is to prove wrong. You see Zeitgeist uses two main fields of study to disprove Christianity. The first is Egyptology and the second is Astronomy. As you my have guessed Egyptology is the study of ancient Egypt and Astronomy is the study of the stars, galaxy and space. I do not know about you but I am not an Egyptologist or an Astronomer. The information they unveil is not common knowledge. So we are left to check there sources but yet the articles they use are not found in your average library.

This is crucial to the game Zeitgeist is playing. If you cannot look it up then you are just left to believe what they are saying. The average person does not have the time and the money to get these books. Zeitgeist is banking on you getting discouraged with trying to prove their movie wrong. They know the majority of the people will not try to disprove and those who try probably cannot.

Zeitgeist is riddled with inaccuracies and half-truths. To display my argument I will be taking parts of the interactive transcript and pointing out its fallacy. If you would like you can get your own interactive transcript so you can see the sentence in context to ensure I am not taking the authors work out of context.

Paragraph 1, Sentence 5- "These realities made the sun the most adored object of all time."

The reference that Zeitgeist provides for this "fact" has nothing to do with statement. So that leads me to wonder why did they make this statement if it cannot be proven. It sets the stage for what is to come.

P1, S7:8- "The tracking of the stars allowed them to recognize and anticipate events which occurred over long periods of time, such as eclipses and full moons. They in turn catalogued celestial groups into what we know today as constellations."

This sentence leads one to believe that ancient civilizations have been tracking star patterns some 10,000 years ago (Sentence 1) because of it contextual implications. Yet there is no archaeological proof supporting Zeitgeist claim until 1300 BC.

P2, S1- "This is the cross of the Zodiac, one of the oldest conceptual images in human history."

The "cross" that Zeitgeist refers to is also known as a "Crux" or "Southern Cross" constellation. The earliest known Zodiac record dates back to 5th century BC but the "cross" of the Zodiac, "Crux" or "Southern Cross" constellations where not named until the 16th century BC. That dates the "cross" of Zodiac way past the life and death of Christ and therefore has nothing to do with his life.

P3, S2 Part 1- "The sun, with its life-giving and -saving qualities was personified as a representative of the unseen creator or god..."

The reference Zeitgeist lists to support this claim, The Book of the Sun by De Sole, does not support their claim. There is bibliographical evidence to support this claim.

P3, S2 Part 2- "...God's Sun [implication: God's Son], the light of the world, the savior of human kind."

This part of video starts to compare the sun to Jesus. The basis of this part of video is that the "myth of Jesus" arose from the sun because of astrological events the sun does throughout the year. Zeitgeist goes as far to say because ancient civilizations believed that God was the sun that eventual, through time the sentence was shorten to God's Sun. From that we get God's Son, Jesus. It is a well thought out hypothesis but there is one problem, the bible was not written in English. It was written in Hebrew and Greek. Just because the two words Sun and Son sound the same in English does not mean they sound the same in a different language. That parallel is just absurd.

I am going to conclude for the day. My next post will be solely addressing the ancient gods that Zeitgeist uses to parallel to Jesus. Until then, God bless!

Zeitgeist (Introduction)

2008-05-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

The movie Zeitgeist was brought to my attention about three months ago. For those of you who have not seen or heard of it, the premise of the movie is simple. It is split into three parts. The first part focuses on religion and more specifically Christianity. The other two parts focus on America and its "corruption." To be honest, I do not care about the last two parts; American conspiracy theories are a dime a dozen. Watch them if you want but just know that I do not support the accusations Zeitgeist is making in them. It is honestly not worth my time to try to disprove the second two parts of the movie for two reasons.

One- I have invested a lot of time and money researching the first part. I cannot imagine doing the same for the second because, like I said, I do not care about them. It is just another American conspiracy theory.

Two- Once I am done blogging about the first part you will be able to conclude if the authors were so incorrect and dishonest about the first part that they were probably dishonest about the second.

If you read my blogs constantly you are probably thinking, "This does not seem like something the Deuce would blog about."

Your right, I had no attention on blogging about this at all. In fact no one has asked me too either. My blogs are generally generated either by personal experience, a nudging of the Holy Spirit or request. Although I know people who see this movie as truth and because they see this movie as truth then Christianity is destroyed. When I started researching Zeitgeist I researched what people thought of it. So many people take this movie at face value and have sweared of Jesus because of it. I cannot let Zeitgeist get away with that, I have to do all I can to stop it.

This is going to be series of blogs that will take some time. There might be 5 blogs, there might be 100. I honestly do not know but I will do my best to shed the light on Zeitgeist.

If you would to watch Zeitgeist you can watch at their website.

Zeitgeist

John 17:15-17

2008-05-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

"My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth." (John 17:15-17)

That passage can be summed up in 5 words.

In it, Not of it.

In it, Not of it is a popular way to describe Jesus. He is in the world but he is not of it. Jesus is of God created by him. Although are we not the same? As we Christians, are we not the same?

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1)

Summed up, if you believe in Jesus you are forgiven. Better yet, in those areas in your life where you just suck at, Jesus took the blame for them and he gave you his perfection in that area. You are made perfect in the Christ.

You see I know this world has got nothing for me. All I could ever want is with Jesus, in Heaven. While I am here on this earth, I do not want anything that is not in God's plan. I want to be in it but not of it.

I screw up but I am forgiven. Call me what you want. Call me...

Freak...

Screw up...

Sinner...

Bible Humper...

Worthless...

I do not care because I know what Jesus is going to call me at my Judgment...

Faithful Servant.

The only title I care about.

Why I used to be an Atheist...

2008-05-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, I used to be an Atheist. I used to believe that this all was fake. Christianity could not possibly be real because there was so much "scientific proof" against it.

Jesus, he was just a man who could of possibly lived 2000 years ago.

God, some guy who lived in the sky... hahah. It made me laugh.

Church was a system of control that wanted to keep me from having a good time. No alcohol, no drugs, no sex, no pornography, no swearing, no fun...

The very thought of church bothered me and I honestly did not want anything to do with it. When my best friend invited me to his church I declined several times.

Eventually I began to research Christianity and Jesus the person. I found compelling evidence that led me to believe that it could be real. Then I researched the other side and other religions. Atheism just used tired and old ways to disprove God and Jesus. Evolution and "common sense" are the best they to have to display their "truth." Then when I tried to look for evidence of other religions they did not offer any. Rather they just said you have to have faith. So I began to look at Christianity as the possible truth in the world but it still was not right.

To be more exact I was not right. I had been going to church for awhile but I was not right. I mean I excepted Christ but I was not perfect. As a believer I still stole, did drugs, drank, I still sinned. It pushed me away from Jesus because I was not any different. My problem was not with Jesus but with myself. I began re-think everything again...

"How could Jesus love me?"

"I am supposed to be a Christian, why can I not do this right?"

"If I could get this junk out of my life then I could have a relationship with Christ."

"I cannot be a Christian because I do this."

Guys that "Christian logic" is wrong. Christianity is not religion but a relationship. When you become Christian, God wants you to build a relationship with Him and his son, Jesus. In this relationship He wants you to work with Him to get that crap out of your life.

I believed in Jesus for 3 years before I honestly tried having a relationship with him. If you feel like Jesus cannot except you then I pray that you ask someone for help. He can and He will you just got to ask.

Seek forgiveness not perfection.

My Daily Bread...

2008-05-20T18:24:00.000-07:00

"Give us our daily bread..."

We hear that phrase constantly in church. It is a really churchy phrase but yet again how many times is it explained. A lot of people believe the daily bread concept is such a Christianity 101 thing there is not much need to explain it. You do not need to go into such depth on it because you should know what it means. It is something that is explained to you in Sunday School when your a kid. How do you not know what it is?

Well if you are like me you did not grow up in a church. You went to maybe two Sunday school classes with your friend, just because you slept over his house and there mom is very religious. So what is the daily bread concept?

When Moses lead Israel out of Egypt, God provided them with Daily Bread. The bread would rain down from the sky and the Israelites where to gather what they needed for the day. They could only gather what was needed, any extra bread would rot before the next the day. The Israelites had to rely on God to provide for them daily.

Today, as Christians, we are supposed to rely on God to provide for us. We are supposed to rely that God will provide us with food, shelter, love, grace, everything and anything we need. Now I am not saying that we are supposed to just sit around and let God do everything. You are not supposed to sit in your house and not work because God is going to provide for you or you do not have to go grocery shopping because God is going to give you food. Rather God allows you to get groceries because he enables you to work. When things are tough just take in that God will provide whatever you need to get through the day.

I live a very discouraging life. It is an understatement to say that my family does not understand my choice to go into ministry. I am constantly under going a barrage of insults by the Devil.

"You cannot make a difference."

"God does not even love you."

"You are worthless."

"How can you help other people when you cannot help yourself."

Just to name a few. What I crave most from God is just to be able to work with people who needs his love and if some way I am able to bring them closer to him, well it is just wonderful. He gives me such great opportunities and this is what keeps me going.

Events like when...

Thomas gave his life to Christ...

Amber gave her life to Christ...

Blaine gave his life to Christ...

Caleb gave his life to Christ...

Mouse broke her walnut...

Amber decided to go into ministry...

Alex got baptized again...

Seth giving his testimony at last years youth retreat...

an unnamed youth stopped cutting...

an another unnamed youth stopped smoking...

anytime we have Communion and a youth had gone up for seconds...

Keeks hugging the cross...

Bree just so concentrated on worship, you could not interrupt he if you wanted too...

and so many more just like these sustain my heart. They are my daily bread that keeps me going through the day. Said events help me remember what God has called me to do and do not let me give up on my mission. So thank you guys for allowing me to be apart of it.

I Will Take the Usual

2008-05-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

Every Tuesday and Wednesday I get together with a relatively large group of people. Tuesday is my small group day, where a group of about 15-20 of my friends get together and study the bible. On Wednesdays my church's youth ministry holds an after school program called Chill and on average we have 20-40 youth there. At the end of each of these nights we take prayer request from each other. It is just a good way to build relationships with each other. Think about, not only are we sharing are prayers but we are sharing are concerns, are joys, are downfalls, are pain and so and so forth.

The whole idea behind sharing prayer request, in my mind, is first to have everyone hear what is going on in each others lives. Second, God promises us that where ever a group of two or more are gathered are voices will be heard. Third, when you go home and have your own prayer time, you should try to keep those prayer request in mind.

In those two groups I pray for the same things every darn week. It has gotten to the point that I just ask for the usual and side dish of whatever else is going on in my life.

The usual is...

Help for a married couple who is having trouble having a baby...

All my friends (two by name) who do not know Christ...

DENNYS...Everything about it. That I can be a better witness to the people there. That it could be more enjoyable or at least bearable. That I could have more patients there...

School...

Two of my friends who are Christians but are struggling with depression...

and that I could build a stronger and more passionate relationship with Jesus.

I know some of you are going to read this and realize that you are one of people I am praying for week after week. You might say, "Why has it not happened yet? Why do you have to pray week after week after week?"

I honestly do not know but I can speculate. God is in the driver seat and he has a plan for everyone and everything. It might not be in his time for something to happen yet or it could not be in his plan at all. The prayer request might just be in "my plan" or "your plan" but not in HIS PLAN. Although if you seek him with all your heart he will never leave you in need.

If you want to be apart of the usual just let me know.

How do I know?

2008-04-30T21:20:00.001-07:00

I know so many people who "know" that Jesus was just a man who lived around the first century. I know so many people who "know" that Jesus did not even exist. I know so many people who “know” that there is no God. Yet I know that Jesus Christ was and is God. Although how do I know?

Honestly I know Jesus is real through many reasons. First and foremost he is my best friend and I have a relationship with him. Yes, I did just say that. Let there be no mistake, I believe in Jesus and he is my best friend and I talk to him through prayer.

Let me ask the questions for you… “Does he talk back?”

If you are asking if I ever heard the audible voice of God, then no I have not. Although I felt his presence, his Holy Spirit consume and fill me and if you ever experience that, there is no denying God.

“But Zaq, that is just what you believe and if he is your “best friend” why doesn’t he talk back? I mean the bible is filled with examples of God talking directly to his people.”

He does not need too for most people. You see God has given most of the advice we could ever need in his word, the bible. I know it sounds like a stock Christian answer but it is true.

“Zaq…God cannot possible give you all of the worlds wisdom in one book. Let’s say you are faced with a tough decision, like you are given a job offer. How do you know what God wants you to do?”

Well I would pray about. I would ask God to guide me in what to do, give me sign or just help me this one. Typically if God does not want me to do something, I will have a bad feeling about it or there will be a series of bad events leading to whatever. When God does want me to pursue something I usually get filled with the Holy Spirit. For example when I made the decision to become a minister I just flat out asked God, “Do you want me to work for you, to be a minister?” I was completely and totally consumed by the Holy Spirit. I cannot remember a time where I was more filled other than when I said yes to Jesus.

“Well that is all well and good but what about science?”

What about science? When you can scientifically prove the existence of someone 2000 years ago let me know! You cannot, this is not a matter of science. It is history and in history we have to rely on the records of that current time.

“Exactly! We can’t rely on the so called Gospels because they were written by the hand of man!”

In that case nothing is real. All of history is a fabrication because it was written by the hand of man. In fact most of what we know of ancient history was written by men who did not even live in the same time period of said events. For example, nearly everything we know about Alexander the Great was written by Plutarch some 400 years after the death of Alexander the Great. Although the New Testament was written by people who either knew Jesus or by people who knew people who knew Jesus.

“That is true but the writers of the New Testament were friends of Jesus, like you said and could have had an objective.”

Well first off, Paul who wrote almost half of the New Testament was someone who original hated what Christ stood for. He was one of the most feared persecutors of early Christians because he was so ruthless. Paul (then Saul) killed many Christians for their beliefs. As a non-believer I can see where you could say the disciples would have had an objective but have looked at how they died? All of the disciples, excluding John who was exiled from Rome, were murdered at the hands of Roman Officials because they would not renounce their faith. If someone was going to kill me and I knew that what they were going to kill me over was not true, I would have told them the truth. Yet what makes this even more amazing is the fact that they were all murdered separately, miles away from each other. One of them could have easily said, “Yo, it is all fake…” and their life would have been spared. The other disciples would not have found out and the one who came “true” could have been long gone. When the other disciples would have found out that one could have had a new life, in a new country. Although this did not happen, they all died because they believed Jesus was God!

“Hmmmmm, that is pretty impressive but ______________”

You fill in the blank. This blog was not made to answer all your questions but to inspire more. If you have any questions about Jesus or God, ask me. If you do not want to leave a comment because you do not want other people to see what you are saying, e-mail me. My e-mail is phillipsz@my.wccc.edu. I will do my best to answer your questions and if I cannot I will find someone who can. If your question is how do I become a Christian?

All you have to do is say…

Lord Jesus, I know that you are God and you died for my sins on the cross. I may be a sinner but today I invite you into my life to make me new.

If you said that with true and honest heart give me a shout because I would like to welcome you to my family.

Who am I?

2008-04-29T18:57:00.001-07:00

Who am I? It has been a question that has plagued my mind for awhile now. In fact for almost two entire years my mind has been trying to figure out this simple question. Who am I?

I feel called by God to become a minister but who am I to be called by God to do anything?

If you would ask me who I am, I would say...

a sinner...

a slacker...

a nightmare of attitude...

but if you where to ask God, he would say...

Zaq? The deuce? Well he is my beloved!

It is amazing to just hear that God views his children as his beloved. I am mean God has a lot of things to be proud of. In my short life I have gotten to see some of his most amazing works, such as Yellowstone, Philmont and the Garden of the Gods but what gets me after seeing these great creations is the fact the God is more proud of me. He is more proud of you than the Grand Canyon, Mount Everest and the Pacific Ocean and the list goes on.

So who I am?

I am Zaq Phillips, the deuce, created wonderfully and fearfully by my father, God. When God created me he made me to be an underdog in this world so his glory can be seen through me! He also created me with the heart of Paul or should I say Saul? Before being blown away by the Holy spirit for the first time I persecuted Christians for believing in such "idiotic nonsense!" Now I see that I was the Idiot and that I was created to minister to anyone and everyone who needs God's love. I am God's Beloved!

...I just felt defeated...

2008-04-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

Today I sat in the audio booth of my church where I just felt defeated...

"You are not going to succeed."

"You are going to work at Denny's forever."

"They do not care about you...your friends, family and God...they do not care."

"What does God care about you?"

"You...

worthless

piece

of

shit."

If there is ever an example of spiritual warfare, this is it. The constant barrage of insults that our enemy the devil throws at us. Sometimes we realize what is happening and we are able to stand behind Christ and he will shield us from the enemy. Although, like today, we can believe it. I did.

I felt worthless, like I had no purpose and for one fleeting moment I gave up. I said...

"You win."

I closed my eyes and my heart dropped and as I pictured Christ on the cross for me. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." His friend. I am his friend and he cares for me.

I do not know how many times I forget this but I plead to you, as my friends, do not forget that Christ loves you. He died for you so you can spend eternity with him and for right now. Right this second, do not forget he still wants to be with you. As you are walking this earth you will undoubtedly get lonely but do not forget you got me and Jesus.

The Key To Life?!?

2008-04-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

Recently, someone who was worried about me said that the key to life is balance. "You need to prioritize, first comes school, then work and in between all that, God."

Now to an extent, this is good advise. It is not good to spend so much time doing one thing that you neglect the others. Although, I am not afraid to say, when it comes to Jesus there is no balance.

When it comes to Jesus in my life, I do not want balance but rather I want him to be weaved into the very fabric of my day. I am tired of having Jesus on my agenda, something to check off my list. Prayer is not a chore and it is something I want to do. I want to be so captivated on my relationship with him that we spend the day doing every thing together.

When I brush teeth in the morning, I want Jesus there!

When I pick out my clothes, I want Jesus there!

When I search for my keys in the midst of my morning routine, I want Jesus there!

When I drive off to school, I want Jesus there!

When I am at freaking Denny's, I want Jesus there!

In class, while I am eating, sleeping, doing my homework, I want Jesus there!

And when I do put some time aside for me and my best friend to reflect on day. When I pray I just want Jesus to come in such a huge way that it blows me away. I want to be so overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit that all I can do is lay there and thank my saviour, my redeemer, my best friend for dying on the cross for me!

Amen!

What is Grace?

2008-04-20T18:49:00.001-07:00

In a church setting we use a few words over and over again. Words like covenant, sovereign and grace yet we rarely ever define them. It is kind of like we expect you to know what these words mean. For the most part you can guess what they mean by their context in the bible.

You probably figured out that a covenant was an agreement of some sort but you probably do not know it is a commitment made to God.

You probably figured that sovereign means good but you probably do not know that it is something that is superior, independent and self governing.

So what is grace?

To me grace is everything. Without it I have no hope of being saved. I could work and work as hard as I could to be sinless and I would still falter. I could try to replace my sin with good deeds yet, I would still fall short.

Grace is...

beautiful...

undeserved...

love...

In my life grace is...

a 15 year old being comforted because his mother died...

a 16 year olds depression being healed...

a 18 year olds drug and alcohol abuse being destroyed...

a 19 year old hearing the call to ministry...

a 20 year old choosing to see himself as God sees him...

grace is everything to me!

Healing!

2008-04-09T08:04:00.000-07:00

For awhile now I have been feeling a little nudge, a little push from the Holy Spirit to blog about healing. I guess Jesus got tired of waiting for me to do so because I just received a text message from a student that attends the church I go to and it said...

"2weeks 2days with out cutting."

Praise God...

Hold on let me say that again...

PRAISE GOD!!!

Some miraculous things have been happening at my church lately, let me fill you in...

Students breaking addiction!

-One who was cutting

-One who was smoking

Students giving their lives to Christ!

-I defiantly know of one student who made that decision for the first time two Sundays ago and there has been a couple more who rededicated their lives to him.

The reason why Jesus healed these students is very simple...

They asked!

Jesus came "to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed..."

Guys if you are hurting, down or just tired, find rest in Jesus tonight.

if you are ready to give up, find hope in Jesus tonight.

if you are pissed off, find peace in Jesus tonight.

It is easy all you have to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth, "Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savour, and through him I can get through ___________"

Fill in the blank...

"Jesus I need you take __________ away from my life."

"Jesus I need you to heal my ____________."

I love you guys so please let Jesus love you.

Does Torrance have Vacancy?

2008-04-08T06:19:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago I was having a conversation with my friends about God. It was the usual stuff. Who is God, what does God do and does God exist? Then one of my friends turned to me and asked, "Has God ever spoke to you?"

I replied, "I never heard the audible voice of God, but I have felt his presence, his Holy Spirit!"

With a smirk he stated, "Then you belong in Torrance."

Torrance is a state mental hospital, so he was implying that I am...

...CRAZY...

What makes me laugh is not even a day later, my churches senior high youth program was derailed by the Holy Spirit. We had the night ready to go, Mark was ready to preach, Mr. Brown was ready to run sound, Jessie was running video, I was ready to run worship and then pow. We started to worship and Mark just felt a tug to keep going. The band played a few improve songs and then Mark had us join the rest of the students in Worship. For the rest of the night, we worshiped.

If you where there you would have seen the tears, the joy, the conviction, the screams, the prayers, the Holy Spirit working in the lives of so many young people.

You would of seen...

...a student broken hugging the cross asking for forgiveness...

...another student comforting her...

...a student throwing a way their smokes...

...a student give their life to Christ.

You would have seen...

...the purest and...

...most powerful image of God...

...a human could withstand.

I spent my time that day praying with other students, laying my hand on them. I prayed with one student about their academic struggle and with another student about a burden that has been on their heart. I held student close as they felt the true presence of God and I told them a bout the promises God has made to them. I felt the Holy Spirit that night with so many other people.

I just hope Torrance has open rooms!

Grace and Peace to...

2008-04-08T04:58:00.000-07:00

38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39"Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."

40 Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

41 So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."

43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!"

44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."

Above is the story of Lazarus, a good friend of Christ. As many of you know Lazarus died early in the story and Jesus went to see him. All of Lazarus’ family thought Jesus came to morn and comfort them but as you have read he did much more. The story of Lazarus can be applied in many parts of our life and walk with God but I want to focus in one spot in particular.

"Take off the grave clothes …"

In our lives, or at least mine, I do a lot of stupid things. I am not perfect in any way, other than in Christ. You see when you accept Christ you are made perfect in him because he wipes the bored clean. Anything you ever have done he forgets and he just sees you, not your actions. Unfortunately so many of us get caught up in our own sin and feel unworthy to be in the presence of Christ.

And here is Lazarus; the dude has been dead for four days. We do not know what he was thinking or what was going on in his head but imagine what it must have felt like. I am sure he thought of all his sins when he died and what he could have done for Jesus. I am also sure after Jesus raised him from the dead he felt unworthy to be in his presence.

Have you ever felt like that? You know Jesus just helped you get through a time or you just messed up so bad but you feel his forgiveness or you just been dead inside for awhile but he just raised you up? And even though you should feel great, you do not. Your thoughts are just plagued with what you have done or should have done.

"Take off the grave clothes…"

Jesus was not telling Lazarus to get the grave clothes off because they were a fashion disaster but because he wanted him to have nothing to remember about his death. When Christ redeems us he does not want us to feel guilty about he just wants us to take off the grave clothes, the things that are going to make us feel guilty and push us away from God, and come to him.
I just want to be able to run to my Abba Father freely without these darn grave clothes holding me down so you know what…

Grace and Peace to…

My Past-

Doubt

Blasphemy

Drugs

Alcohol

Hate

Depression

Cutting

Suicide

The death of my Mother

The death of Koty

Numbness

Betrayal

My Present-

My relationship with my Dad

My loneliness

Pornography

Swearing

Anger

Lust

Coveting

Doubts about myself

To that stupid part on my truck I need to replace

Denny’s

To the people who I have held grudges against until this second

My future-

In the future I pray that I will not let things bottle up inside me that I will just take off my Grave clothes and through them on the floor and say, "Grace and Peace to you."

Grace and Peace to you!

How long...

2008-03-31T04:57:00.000-07:00

I am privileged to be able to minister to the most amazing youth in the Latrobe-Greensburg area but it is not always easy. No matter where you go, what generation you came from, you always will hear things like…

"What do these kids have to worry about?"

"Kids these days, they have it so easy!"

"Well when I was a kid I had to ________!"

I am here to tell you that being a teenager in today’s world is not so easy. So often I hear someone say, "If I had that when I was kid…" Everyday there are technological advances and new gadgets are created to make our lives easier but yet each year teen suicide is rising. If teens have it so easy then why are the suicide rates rising? In fact I believe these technological "advances" can add stress, anxiety and depression that lead to suicide.

For example the computer, it is the biggest technological tool young people use but it can add stress, anxiety and depression. We live in world that believes you have to achieve and strive for perfection but that is just impossible. Now do not get me wrong trying to be the best at what you do is not a bad thing, unless it takes over your life. In our school system we put so much pressure on the students to achieve and I have heard parents say their kids, "How could you be getting that grade, if I had the internet when I was kid, well I would have had straight A’s."

Another way a computer can add stress, anxiety and depression to our youth is the media that is displayed on it. I receive friend request from porn websites constantly on Myspace and each one of them has a very attractive female as their photo. In other ways I will see advertisements that have sculpted guys selling their product. There is so much pressure on our youth to look a certain way and it is just getting worse.

To make things clear I am not saying the computers are evil or the devil or anything ignorant like that, yet I am just recognizing how the devil can use them against us. Honestly I do not know where this blog came from. I came on to blog about healing but this came out…I guess that will be used for another day.

I would like to leave you with one last point. Two thirds of all teens suffering from depression, the leading cause of suicide among teens, NEVER SEEK TREATMENT! That sounds absurd, if someone was hurting bad enough to kill themselves why would they not say something? Maybe it is because you told them they had it so easy. How long will we close our eyes to the youth?

1 is greater than 141

2008-03-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

I just got done watching a Christian T.V. show. The format of the show was like many others; there was a panel of five experts. The topic which they were discussing was the rapture and I was intrigued because I do not know as much as I should on the topic. So I watch and they began to read an article from another Christian who disagreed with their theology.

I tuned in to this program to learn more about the rapture but it turned into a "Christian Slam Fest." The panel started to label the author and what was wrong in his article. One expert went as far to say that the reason why this author and others like him did not teach his type of theology was because they "could not understand it." Another said "I believe we will all be in heaven one day (talking about Christians, regardless of what type of Christianity you believe in)…but some of us will have our theology corrected."

Mean while I am sitting couch in shock. How often do we do this? In some degrees we are right and in the same way we are all wrong. No one knows how everything works and I am certainly not claiming to know it all either. I know when I stand before God in judgment he will tell me I blew many times but why are arguing with each other?

What good will that do?

How many people were saved because of your beliefs?

1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Eph. 4:1-6)

We all have a piece to the puzzle but if we keep on arguing among each other we are just going backwards. There are 141 different Christian churches, by my count and each one has a different view on theology. Honestly if we keep fighting each other where are we going to get?
But what if we worked together? What if a Catholic Church and Baptist church worked together to feed the hungry? What if a Methodist and Lutheran church worked together to bring the gospel to needy people? How many people would be saved then?

What if we put are petty differences aside and became Christians and identified with Christ beliefs rather than our own personal beliefs? It is simple math but 1 is greater than 141!

Bad Week

2008-03-12T04:54:00.000-07:00

I have had a poop week and it is not over…

Sunday my Girlfriend broke up with me…

Monday I slept all day…

Tuesday bombed a BIO II test and answered a question with "because we would have giant cows…"

Wednesday I pulled my groin, realized I have the rock-down funk and fought with my dad for 3 hours…

…but if you would refer to my first line the week is not over! I realized something today when my dad told me that there are only so many hours in a week. You see my dad feels that I am not making enough money and I should work more hours and spend less at Church. He is right, there are only so many hours in a week and I am too focused on work! I need to relax…I am tired of being so tensed and pissed! I need to focus on what matters to me the most…God, my Family and my friends...you guys!

The week is not over and I ask who wants to do something? Is anybody up for hockey on Saturday morning (groin pending)? My church is having a giant nerf gun war and it would make
my week if you would come!

I believe in Satan

2008-03-01T04:51:00.000-08:00

I believe in Satan. That's right that "big red dude with the horns", the Devil, el Diablo, the "Anti-Christ", "Son of Sam", Lucifer, that moronic punk (Yeah PM!!!)…whatever you want to call him, I believe in him. Although a lot of my fellow Christians do not feel the same way about him.
Did he say he believes in Satan??? He is going to be a pastor…shouldn't he believe in God? As most of gasp for air let me explain what I believe about him…

I believe he is…

Evil…

Wicked...

and not a nice person.

I believe he is the reason for so much of our…

Suffering…

Pain...

Loss …

And Emptiness.

I believe that he can be seen vividly in our

Depression…

Drug use…

Alcohol abuse…

And Adultery.

I believe Satan knows me well, not like God but enough to know what gets at me.

He knows I can be easily stressed out.

He knows I can be easily angered at work.

He knows that alcoholism and drug abuse runs in my family.

And He knows that I love God.

And that drives him crazy. He hates that I love God. Every morning I wake up and get out of
bed and he draws a bull's eye on my back. He wants to drive me away from God and into sin.

Like this one time my friend who found out that I was planning on becoming a pastor asked me if
I felt divine intervention. I thought for a second and smiled and said yeah but not as much as satanic intervention. He had no idea what to say…a want-to-be pastor has satanic intervention?
I do…every day. It is called temptation and we all are tempted.

When you want to look at some girls thong that is stinking out, that's satanic intervention.

When you want to get drunk, that's satanic intervention.

When you want to hit someone, that's satanic intervention.

The list could go on and on but as Christians what we need to realize is that the devil is so real.

He is as real as you and me and God and Jesus. But what can we do???

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." (1 peter 5:8-9)

1. Be self-controlled and alert. Believe in Satan, he is real and he wants to destroy you.
2. Resist him, Standing firm in the faith…
a. Pray…a lot!
b. Read the bible.
3. Your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. If you are a Christian you should be there for your brother in Christ. You should be there for everybody…

So game on Satan!!!

Jesus Is With You...Regardless

2008-01-30T04:50:00.000-08:00

Recently I have asked a man who I greatly respect how long it would take to read the bible.
He kindly smiled at me and said "12 hours." He continued on explaining how he had read the bible from beginning to end to man who could not read.

I was astonished, that sounded absolutely crazy. If you have ever looked at bible you know it is rather large book. In addition to being long, it was also written several thousand years ago. The language at times can be so difficult, even in modern translations.

When I told him how amazed I was with that he agreed. He told me that the language in the bible could be very difficult and that is why he felt that the bible should not be read.
Again I was astonished by his words. Wait you do not want people to read the bible, but you are a pastor. Would you not want people to read about the life of Jesus or use the bible as a tool to gain knowledge?

Then he said something I believe that was so wise, so insightful. "The bible should be studied."
Let's face it guys, the bible is hard to read. It is the living word of God and so many passages can mean different things in different circumstances. Jesus himself taught in parables because "such knowledge is too wonderful…too lofty to attain." If we just read it we will miss so many points and wisdom.

For example…

41Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. 42When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. 43After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."

49"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" 50But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
Most people read this passage and say, well Mary and Joseph are bad parents but let's study it.

"Why were you searching for me?"

These are the first recorded words of Christ, but why are they so important? Because they question why we search for Christ! Not in a sense of for what reasons do you search for me but rather why? You should know where I am!

"Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?"

1 Corinthians 3:17 tell us, "If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple." Jesus has to be in his Father's house, the temple but we are the temple, right?

Yes! Jesus dwells inside of us and he loves us and why bother searching for him…you know where he is.

Tis the season

2007-12-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

Every year it seems Christmas trees appear in department stores earlier than the year before. Our decorations, for celebrating this sacred time, get bigger, larger and more extravagant. The presents, well they just get more valued and more important to us.

Yet we often forget the biggest gift we receive on Christmas.

That we receive every Christmas.

That we receive every day.

The gift God gave us, so that he could be with us…forever… Immanuel.
That is what Christmas is all about. Christmas is about how much God loves you. That he loves you so much he would give his one and only son for whoever believes in him shall not perish but receive eternal life.
This Christmas spend some quiet time with Jesus.

Thank God that he gave up his son for you.

Talk to a friend about Jesus; invite him or her to church.

Most of all remember that we are celebrating the birth Christ, the Messiah, the Son of Man, the Son of God, the Son David, Jesus…so that God could be with us…Immanuel.

God is just answering my prayers

2007-12-04T04:45:00.000-08:00

As many of you probably know…I am a grill cook at…Denny's and…I hate it. Denny's has consistently and constantly kept me from hanging out with my friends, going to concerts and doing things with the youth ministry. A lot of people have told me that I should quit that job, just get a new one, you hate it. I have told people that I could not because it just pays so well, I could not possibly find a better job.

Let's face it guys…I am lying.

What you probably do not know about four months ago I received an e-mail from my pastor. In the e-mail was an application for a "perfect" job. This job was off the hook. I am talking about benefits, I got to create my own schedule, the majority of the work was on a computer and it paid a full dollar more than Denny's. When I left the interview the man told me that I had the job, I just had to let him know if I wanted it. He told me to pray about it and to see what God had to say. I prayed and I prayed and I knew that I could not take the job. Something was not right and God did not want me there.

Immediately I felt convicted, "God is punishing me for not being a good person I thought." You see I have been praying for a long time for God to help me become a better person. I have been praying for God to help me become more patient, to help me control my anger and just be a kinder person. Since I have failed in these areas in my life I honestly thought God just did not want me to be happy.

Wait…that does not sound like the God I know. What happened to the good who lays me down in green pastures even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death? When did God do a 360 and started hating me.

What happened to ask and being given too?

What happened to seeking and finding?

What happened to knocking and that darn door being opened?

Obviously he did not change but why were my prayers not being answered. Well let's look at what I was asking for. I was asking for God to help me become a better person. I wanted to be more patient; I wanted to be able to control my anger; and I wanted to be kinder. All of these things I struggled with at Denny's.

If you ask for patients do you think God just makes you patient? Do you think he just zaps you with patients? Or does he present you with situations to become more patient?

What a fool have I been! Every time a new cook messed up I had a chance to be patient. Every time we got busy I had a chance not to get angry. Every time a server messed up I had a chance to be kind.

So why am I still at Denny's…God is just answering my prayers.

Nice Guys Finish First?!?!

2007-11-02T04:43:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been striving to become a better person and to become closer to God and I am just blowing opportunities left and right. It seems no matter how hard I try I get beat down by persecution and temptation. I should be ready, it comes with the territory. Peter warned us…"8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." After a week of Satan's barrage I was ready to throw in the towel. Who cares anyway nice guys finish last anyways.

Wrong!

Throughout the bible it tells us that we need to become the "least" here on earth to become the greatest in heaven.

Wait, what? To be the greatest we have to become the least? That does not make any sense.
Think about it for a second. God has always used the little guy, the underdog, the unthinkable and the nice guy to do his work. Noah, Abraham, Jacob and Joshua all fit that bill. Moses, the leader of the early church and the guy who wrote the first five books of the bible and then some, was afraid that pharaoh would not listen to him. David was a sheep herder and he destroyed a 9 foot tall giant. Mary was a peasant girl who gave birth to the redeemer of the world!

Let's not forget about Jesus though. Yes Jesus was fully God but we often forget he was also fully human. He started his three year ministry when he was 30 years old. What did he do before that? He was a carpenter. He did not study the word with a priest; he was not given a "cushy" job to do before he had to save us. No he was down in the dirt on his hands and knees as carpenter, working with his hands. It is kind of like when you see a politician campaign and it says "vote for so and so he is a man's man," except Jesus actually is.

"For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest."—Luke 9:48

I know there is hope for me and you and everyone else in this world.

Do not be afraid to be the nice guy.

The Rock n’ Roll Jesus Guy

2007-10-28T04:41:00.000-07:00

I am known for being Zaq, the kid who spells his name with a "Q." I am known for being the funny, random and wild person who makes you laugh. I am known to be an odd blend of metal head and a flower child rapped in one. I am known to wear black clothes and pants that are said to be "too large." I am known for my long hair that is unkempt.

I am afraid what I am known for is not who I am.

Oddly enough what I am not known for is what defines my life. What I am not known for is why I am sober, not depressed and alive today. What I am not known for is what I want to be known for more than anything.

I need Jesus' strength; so I can step out of my bed and into the battlefield. So I can fend off any of the enemy's attacks. So I can be strong for others.

I need Jesus' wisdom; so I can walk a path less traveled. So I can help others. So I can be closer to him.

I need Jesus! To redeem me, to be my friend, to be my everything.

I love Jesus from the bottom of my heart, from morning to dawn, from now until he holds me in his forgiving arms.

I love Jesus; he is my strength, my shield, my sword, my savior, my redeemer and my best
friend. He is my model for my life, even though my life does no justice to it. I screw up, constantly but luckily I do not (and more importantly He does not either) define my life by my
mistakes.

I love Jesus because he loves me. Agape, the unconditional love he has for me. Jesus loved me when I was drunk and high and now that I am sober. Jesus loved me when I did not know him. Jesus loved me when I hated myself. Jesus loved me when I hated him.

I am saved!

I am redeemed!

I am God's child!

I am on fire for Christ!

I am a lamp for the world!

I am the salt of the earth!

I am ready to do whatever God ask me to do!

I am because of what he was!!!

I want to be known as a Jesus freak. I want to be known as "Rock n' Roll Jesus Guy!" I want to
be known as the guy who is so in love with Jesus that it radiates off of me. I want to be so under the influence of the Holy Spirit that you can see it my eyes, feel it in my touch, hear it in my voice, taste it in my cooking and smell it on my breath.

And through my actions…

I will be known as a…

loyal and faithful…

servant of God.

Amen

Forgotten Soldier and my desperate prayer

2007-10-17T04:40:00.000-07:00

Today there are several thousands of soldiers in Iraq and each one of them is there to protect you. There is no doubt about it; the purpose of their personal sacrifice is to defend you and your country. I am lucky to know a few veterans of Vietnam who are personal heroes to me. Personally I love the USA; it is the greatest country of them all. I may jokingly say I am moving to Canada to live among my fellow hockey lovers but I would never trade Old Glory for that stupid maple leaf. Since I love the USA so much I have thanked the veterans I know and have had a chance to meet. When they fought I was not even a thought here on earth but I cannot tell you how much their sacrifice means to me. Would you believe not one of them has ever said, "I made this sacrifice but…" anything? Their sacrifice was unconditionally to all Americans and so many soldiers go unrecognized for their contributions but one goes unrecognized more than any other.

Unfortunately today you can barley turn on your TV without hearing about a death in Iraq. Everyday someone loses a father, a son, a mother, a daughter, a friend and so and so forth. Rarely you will hear story about a soldier who jumped on a grenade to save his platoon but you never hear the story of the soldier who jumped on the grenade to save the whole world. I am talking about Jesus.

There is no difference if you are White, Black, Asian, Native American or anything else. There is no difference if you are Catholic, Methodist, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim or anything else. There is no difference because God loves the world so much that he sent his one and only son so for whoever believes in him shall not perish but receive eternal life. If you barely sin or sin like hell there is no difference because all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. There is no difference. Jesus gift was unconditional more than any other gift. He will never say I died on the cross for you but… anything. He paid off all your sins once and for all.

When will we see that there is no difference, I am tired of going backwards. I love my veterans including Christ, who is at the top of my list and we owe it to them to move forward. The only way we can move forward is to love. Hate does not change anything or anyone it just pisses you off and I am tired of being pissed off. I want to be like Christ so bad and fail so much but I just got to keep going. He changes, heals and most of all loves you; without that I am nothing. Help me get through this.

Believing and Following

2007-09-18T04:36:00.000-07:00

I have believed in Christ for about five years but I have only followed him a little over a year. You see there is such a huge difference in believing and following and I have not realized it until now. A believer is someone who thinks something is real. You believe that gravity is holding everything down to the earth; you believe that two plus two equals four; you believe that Christ came from heaven to die on the cross to save you from your sins. Although Jesus calls us to do so much more than to believe in him, he calls us to FOLLOW him. Sure John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life," but does not tell us how to live our lives. I am firm believer in John 3:16 and I believe that if you have true faith in Christ that you will be saved but that is not enough for me. I personally cannot sit back and do nothing while Christ does everything.

"18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him." (Matt 4:18-20)

I want to be a fisher of men; I want to be like Christ; I want to follow Jesus. There are two things you need to do to become more like Christ.

One you need to follow him. Image you are Peter, minding your own business and then this guy comes to you and says follow me. You do not know much about him other than he is a rabbi but you follow him anyway. Why? Because he is a rabbi! He is someone who can teach you so much about God. Simply, following a rabbi in this time period was like going to an intense bible study. You would follow your rabbi around and make note of his every move, how he handled arguments about scriptures, how he preached and even how he read the scriptures. Imagine following Christ like this; imagine how much you could learn from him.

Two you need to practice what Christ teaches you. I remember when I was a child I wanted nothing more to be like Jarmiour Jagr. So I watched each Penguin game with my hockey stick and ever time Jagr touched the puck I would jump up and imitate his every move. To be like Christ we have to imitate him too. Obviously we cannot be one hundred percent like him, but we can try. When you find yourself applying his teachings in your life it will become easier to be like him.

So I am done with believing in Christ, it is not enough for me, I am following him.

Truth

2007-08-28T04:44:00.000-07:00

The following is the opening paragraph to my final essay in my advanced comp class. As you probally know you either win or lose your audience in the first paragraph and I really want to nail this. My paper is on the resurrection of Christ. Just by reading the opening would you want to continue reading the paper or would you change it? Please give feedback!!!

Many people in today's world claim to be Christian. In fact, thirty-three percent of the world's population choose to believe in Christ. What does that mean? Well it means roughly thirty-three percent of the world's population believes that Jesus Christ was the Son of God and came from heaven to die on the cross for the sins of humanity. Today I would like to make a much larger claim than that. To believe in something is to consider or to accept something, that could be true but you honestly do not know. You believe the Steelers won the game last Sunday, you believe that the person next to you is Mark and you believe that you have to work tomorrow. I do not believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God and came from heaven to die on the cross for the sins of humanity, I know he did. By proving eight facts I will disprove popular theories of what happened to Jesus thus leaving one possible solution, his resurrection.

Love

2007-08-13T04:34:00.000-07:00

Love. Love is the upmost aspect of God that amazes me. His love is greater than any other love in the world. Love is to God as water is to ocean. No one can fully explain his love but it is stated best by Jesus when he said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) People often wonder why Christ would die for us, why he would subject himself to such a humiliating and painful death. I struggled with this question myself for a long time. In fact after seeing the Passion I said, "I should have been on the cross, I am the sinner." As I matured through Christ I slowly began to realize why he died for us. He died for the ugly, the broken, the sick, the corrupt, the sinners; he died for you and me because he could not bear spending eternity in Heaven without you (remember the prodigal son).

Christ love is incomparable. Who would you die for? My list includes my family and my friends and it does not come close to the list Christ made before he died. Christ's list included my family and my friends and the rest of the world. He died for Joe Shmo down the street, the person who just cut you off in traffic, the drug dealer in your apartment, the homeless man in that alley. Jesus loves the unlovable in the eyes of the world. I cannot think of one person I would not want to spend glory with but I can think of people who I did not love when I had the opportunity to love them. That is where I differ from Christ the most (in my eyes), other than him being sinless.

So how do we love the unlovable? First we need to stop viewing people as outcasts or wastes or any other label we might associate those who do not know Christ. We need to see these people the way that God saw them as he created them, with the eyes of our hearts. God does not create outcasts or wastes; we are all created in God's image with a purpose and that is how we should see all people (remember the man born blind). Maybe the reason a man is an outcasts or wastes or any other label you might give someone , is so that the glory of God may be revealed through him. If you know me you know my adolescent years were spent in alcohol and marijuana but now because of God's glory I am sober.

Once you see people through the eyes of your heart you will find it easier to love.

The Wall

2007-07-26T04:38:00.000-07:00

Most of us, when we first accept Christ, build our faith as if we are building a wall. Like a stone mason we carefully select our rock or core beliefs as new followers of Christ. We lay them down and start to build on top of each other. For example, a new follower of Christ might say well I believe in Christ crucifixion and resurrection; I believe it is bad to drink alcohol; I believe that it is grace alone that saves me from my sin. All of these examples can be backed up by biblical text but some can be also argued with biblical text.

So what becomes of our wall when you change your mind? What if you believed that tattoos where unholy because of Leviticus 19:28 but later decide that you misinterpreted that text? What happens when you find out that some words in the bible where misinterpreted and because of that your idea on that subject is changed (Red Sea or Sea of Reeds)? What happens to your wall when your core stones are pulled from underneath it? It falls, you fall and your faith falls.

How do we overcome the wall? We need to recognize that the bible is a living text. "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Heb 4:12) The word of God can mean many, many things in different situations and to different people. It changes and evolves to help in today's world.

As modern Christians we need to stop focusing on "the issues" of a holy life. As far as I am concerned you should try to live a life as holy as you can the way Christ wants you to. Interpreting "the laws", in my view, should be done with yourself and God. And the issues we need to concern ourselves with are that, that concern people. We need to reach out to our communities, our homeless and our unloved. There are so many people who need him and we are worried about if it is ok to have a wine toast at a wedding.

It is love, not law!

So I say to you, tear down your wall!

Get out there and get something down for Jesus, just let me know what I can do to help.

I do not understand

2007-01-04T04:48:00.000-08:00

During the winter months something terrible happens to my beloved sports center

...BASKETBALL...

I like Basketball...

I am a big Pitt fan but I do not understand what makes it so great. It controls the airways and I rarely get to see highlights of HOCKEY which is so much better...

And every top ten is filled with Slam Dunks and Allie Oops but maybe two amazing display of hockey excellence. For example Jarkko Ruutu took out Darius Tucker...that is huge!!! With Chris Simon suspended (for slu-footing Ruutu) Tucker is easily the big brawler in the game. He is an incredible fighter...

insane...

beast...

Chuck Norris hides from him...

and Jarkko one...

not in the top ten...

a slam dunk is a slam dunk…

I see it all the time…

my cousin can slam dunk…

but he cannot beat up Darius Tucker…

I Do Not Understand...