It’s Friday and I am scared and doubting.
Things are becoming very real for me in my life. I have one more semester at WCCC before I go off to real college and start to prepare for my life in ministry. I thought that this time of filling out applications and writing essays would be exciting but it has not been. To get into college and you have to sell yourself to the school, why should they pick you over the next guy. Personally I have trouble seeing why any school would want me. My GPA would make a mediocre batting average, my SAT scores would be an excellent credit report and the only thing I have going for me is extracurricular activities but that just shows I should spend more time studying.
It’s Friday and I am scared and doubting.
My recent doubts are not with God, they are with me. From the very start of my decision to follow this call to ministry has been rough. My father has not supported it, I have not strived to live it and now I doubt my actual call.
It’s Friday and I am scared and doubting.
I know God can work miracles through the small and weak. Gideon, David and Saul are all evidence of His ability to do so but I am same as them?
It’s Friday and I am scared and doubting.
I do not know if I am same as those guys but I do know God has not changed. If he wants me to be a pastor he will open the doors for me to do so. The more I have been praying about this I realize that my doubts are driven by fear of failure. By doubting myself I doubt God because he will provide the provisions necessary for me to succeed. Without God who am I? Just dirt (read Genesis if you did not get that one).
It’s Friday but Sunday’s coming!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
It's Friday...
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1 comment:
Sunday will give you strength, which you already have, you just forgot.
Begin by thinking only positive thoughts. In my years of life, I have found that if I think negatives, negatives are what I will get in return. Ah, not always easy. I know that for sure. Picture yourself as successful long before you know the success. It works. I have never been disappointed when I focused my thoughts on what I wanted to happen. And if something else came about than what I was thinking, then that was the RIGHT outcome. Does any of this make any sense?
You know what doubt is. And you know who creates it in your mind.
Don't listen.
(((((( HUGS ))))))
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